Well, my dear readers, I was afraid this day would finally come. To be honest, I thought it would take a lot longer than this, but here we are. That's right, folks. This website has finally gone commercial.
**CUE AUDIENCE GASPS OF DISBELIEF**
Cos you see, the other day I received a mysterious comment on my post on Shaun Micallef from a man living far far away in South America somewhere I presume. With the combined force of all my detective sleuthing skills (gleaned from reading the adventures of Sherlock Holmes), I managed to deduct all of this due to the fact the entire passage happened to be in another language.
Unfortunately, it took me forever to translate it back into English. This was not due to any fault of the fine translation services available online, but was instead attributed to the fact that I failed to properly recognise the language being presented to me. Silly old me, who was I to notice the fine differences between Spanish and Portuguese? Lucky I didn't wait til my transcontinental trip across Europe before finding out. Imagine that, all those phrase books purchased for nothing. I wouldn't even be able to order a coffee or ask why that man is making off with my luggage. (Pointing and screaming can only get you so far)
When I finally managed to crack the code with the correct cipher (take that, Da Vinci Code! And I didn't waste 3 hours of your freaking time either!), I discovered that the author of the comment did indeed enjoy my post, and encouraged me to visit his blog, a site linking to an online store selling personalised T-shirts. And then it dawned on me - I had received my first commercial cash cow.
Imagine the infinite possibilities. Like the way my blog looks? And who doesn't? Well then, go ahead and put it onto an item of clothing you can then venture into the public domain in. It's the best way to advertise these days, using the theory of viral marketing. If you come across something weird in the street, it is only natural that curiosity and obsession will eventually set in, and bang, another customer in your pocket.
Of course, it could all go wrong, just like the time when some bright spark at the marketing agency decided to plug a cartoon by placing strange looking boxes with timer run lights and sounds built in, scattered throughout Boston at the start of the year. As is the American population's disposition these days, several people believed them to be the doomsday devices of terrorists, and police shut down half the city trying to defuse them.
But never fear, I will not be spreading terrorist propaganda on my future T-shirts. Sure, there might be the occasional anti-conservative rant every now and then (I can't believe it's not Tampa 2.0!, aka How to steal an election even when half the electorate has had enough of you), but the text will be so small you would have to squint just to read it. And that's what you want really, a leisurely walk down the street thwarted by onlookers trying to read the expletives printed in font size 10 on your fine looking garment. Come to think of it, Such a shirt would be good for others standing around you in a crowded train compartment. Just be careful if they don't happen to like what they're reading.
I could go on forever about the potential commercial spin offs I could conjure up, but it's getting late and I don't think people would appreciate blog branded breakfast cereal anyway. It'd just be alphabet cereal, but with far less fibre and 100% more tripe. And all the letters would be replaced with the ones that I approve of. So long, 'U', we hardly knew yo... I mean ye.
**Just so this post doesn't come across as completely mean spirited [and in case our comment maker actually did like my blog, here's a link to his blog, translated for your convenience (I still had the page open, count yourselves lucky)].