Normally I don't prefer to generate blog material from stuff I read in the papers or online, as any old hack could just take pull something out of their arse they read on Digg or something. But this little story was far too weird and wonderful to pass up. This may be a first for this author, but it doesn't mean I won't be putting my own irreverent/irrelevant spin on things. Before I knew what irreverent meant, I always thought that was just some weird spelling error the editors failed to pick up. Slightly irrelevant piece of information there, but that's OK, onto the story.
The Age, 23rd August 2007That's right, dear readers - an arm wrestling machine from Japan. I'd say I was surprised, but by now I should know a lot better about expecting normal things from the country that invented the portable armrest and the butter stick. That stick is in a very similar vein to that of my bacon spray... I don't like the sound of that, I don't like that one bit...
I was wondering what this machine might look like so I jumped online with the phrase 'arm wrestling machine' into Google and found you a picture. How nice am I? I love how the machine is just a regular looking box with a fully real looking arm sticking out of it. It must be the beginning of the rise of the machines, taking human form limb by limb in the guise of challenging humans to arm wrestles and boxing matches. Don't say I didn't warn you when we're all being hunted down by a DDR machine. "Everybody dance, NOW!"
What remains one of the best parts of the story is the part where the Atlus spokesman tries to explain the injuries by saying the foreigners couldn't understand the instructions as it was all in Japanese. Don't ask me why, but I have an odd feeling that alcohol could have been involved. I mean, if you walked up and played a few round with the fantastic hydraulic arm, after a while you would figure out that it would get more difficult as time passed by. The flashing red lights and the crushing pain of sinew snapping might also be a good indicator.
One more tidbit before I run off to lunch. While Googling for that nice picture of the machine, I looked up the headlines the professionals use to create the cutthrough that attracts readers. My mini edition of Media Watch has gathered a couple of interesting lines. You could go with the standard 'Arm-Wrestling Game Recalled for Breaking Arms' (PC World) which gives you everything you need, but comes across slightly dry when compared to Arcade game goes on a rampage, breaks the arms of three people (SlashGear) or Oh Snap! (Wired). My personal favourite is A farewell to arms (CBC). Classy and witty all at once, wonderfully done.
Hey, I like the new layout! And not all of us Japanese are crazy. But yes, the butter stick is... unusual.
Oh No! We'd better act quickly and patent our creation!
One of the worst things about the article is that the Almus spokesman is going against his own people! Since when does a japanese guy blame a japanese guy for not reading japanese (the 3rd injured guy is japanese).