Say Something...

There's not much to this post today. Just a complex answer to a simple question: what do you do at work? If someone could let me know, that would be quite appreciated... No, don't say that! But yea, my true position here is not that vague. I work at a quality residential design and build company in the official position of Estimator, a position so low on the organisational chart that even the cleaning lady who comes in over the weekends is placed higher than myself. And looking at the state of my little alcove, you might understand why.

Well, there's so much space available, it seems a shame not to use it all really. And the mess is fine, as long as I know where everything is. And that I should, I put it all there in the first place... or at least I should remember... Once I tried to throw an old pen into the trash, but when I returned the next Monday, the cleaning people had placed it neatly back on my desk. That's when you know you're in trouble, when you become so messy that the mess gains the ability to regenerate all by itself. I prefer not to fight the mess but rather embrace my creation as my own child. That's right, my hideous, ever expanding child. Sounds like an ideal contestant for the Biggest Loser to me.

The size of the mess largely depends on how much work I have to take care of. We have around 15 jobs going on at once, each at different stages of completion from preliminaries to construction to final handover. A lot of what I do involves measuring quantities for the various jobs in question. I am also required to make quotes and chase them up, as many trades will put off doing the work for as long as possible if no one is there to remind them. The excuses range from the usual "It's almost finished, you'll receive it tomorrow" to the slightly doubtful "I never got it, must've been lost in the post". You wonder why there aren't all that many quote eating canines running around, that excuse could easily become popular...

Eventually when enough quotes find their way back to the office, we can then make an order. There isn't much to say about orders except that the software we use appears to be from the days when supercomputers actually appeared to be super, simply by imposing its massive footprint upon a room the size of a small warehouse. Nowadays, people scoff if their wristwatches can't tell what direction the wind is blowing or what might be good for tea tonight. I personally suggest KFC, just to see how many people would fall for it and take on a life of heartburn and clogged arteries. I compel and double dare you!

And that brings us to the end of my brief overview of what exactly it is I do between the hours of nine and five each weekday. Obviously there's a decent amount of slacking off time, but I wouldn't admit to the extent of these wild allegations... that's it, no further questions, this interview is over!