Say Something...

People Want Ducks Again

2010-08-02T00:04:00.000+10:00

Look at those ducks, waddling around like they own the place.

Bad Rhino!

2010-05-12T21:55:00.000+10:00

Probably not a good thing. Time to reboot.

Because Shock Value 2 Isn't on Vinyl

2010-04-21T02:23:00.000+10:00

Time to make a post in a timely manner. It was Record Store Day last Saturday and who am I to say no?

Personally I prefer buying CDs over digital downloads. Although downloads are quick and easy for instant gratification when you want that quick fix (curse you, Bieber!), I still find there's something tangible about the casing and the sleeve art that makes CDs worthwhile. Secondly I like collecting them in an obsessive compulsive manner, so I'll often end up buying as many discs as I can afford. And on occasions such as these I'll buy more than I can afford.

Stuff to sort. Bypass the stack!

I ended up buying stuff from Elvis Costello and Gossip on CD and a remastered recording of Derek and The Dominoes' Layla on vinyl. The resurgence of vinyl is so strong that you can buy some shocking things in this medium now. I once saw a copy of the Katy Perry album in vinyl form and wondered if the autotune on 'Hot and Cold' was that much richer and fulfilling. Funny how Russell Brand's comments on pop stars overdosing on drugs to prevent them making bad music clearly shows he has no sense of irony at all.

On a somewhat related note, today on the tram I overheard someone saying they used to work for JB HiFi and how the staff discount sold them stock at wholesale price. I've wasted half my life not working for these guys.

Your Friendly Myki Mob

2010-01-17T01:58:00.000+11:00

How many myki mates does it take to operate one of those new ticket machines? If the photo I took was any indication, as many as you can spare.

Move over, light bulb jokes.

Question TIme

2010-01-12T03:44:00.000+11:00

I had two exams this semester. Well, one really since Environmental Systems doesn't really count. You fill out your name, tick some boxes and leave the room. Your H1 will be forwarded to you shortly. To the best of my recollection, one of the questions on my other exam paper last semester went a little like this.

There are three staff members, aka 'resources' who are rated for overall availability and work efficiency at three defined tasks. Two of them, one male and one female are white and the other is an Asian male. This is where every stereotype you can imagine kicks in. Predictably the Asian guy is available for longer and is generally more efficient at most tasks, in stark comparison to the local resources who rate at around 75%. The funniest part is probably where the woman is particularly inefficient at one task, running at about 40%. In one question, the lecturer has unintentionally (or perhaps not?) managed to create a racist and sexist exam question more controversial than a bucket of fried chicken. I suppose you could refuse to answer the question based on your individual moral outrage, or you might just not know how to answer it and made this bull up on the spot.

But as far as uni is concerned, laughing time is over for the time being. I'm doing a summer semester subject in a field I know next to nothing about so I really should start doing some of the readings to try and make some sense out of them before this subject comes around to kick my arse. Let's hope things go well in this subject, given my track record for decision making last year wasn't anything worth writing home about.

I'm looking forward to this year since it'll be my final year. The other day I was reminded that it's been more than six years since I left Box Hill and it's really surprising how time has passed. It certainly doesn't help looking at how the school's changed through YouTube videos of teachers being waxed for charity, or so they claim. While that certainly looks painful, I got distracted by seeing how the quad looks nothing like how I remember it. Still it'll be great not having to deal with the education system after this year, I just hope 25 years of education qualifies me for a position in office lackey work and acting barista for clients. Here's to 2010, if things don't work out I guess we still have 2012 to look forward to.

As the old saying goes, I'm not too old for this shit.

Hibernation's End

2009-12-10T03:16:00.000+11:00

Fleetwood Mac was in town the other day. So naturally while on the tram I assumed every 40 - 50 year old getting off at Rod Laver Arena would be attending some Britney Spears concert. It could happen if she's still alive in a couple of decades, but going on current form who can really tell? But of course I could never afford to see something of that vintage and quality as I was off to the one dayer at the G' with Marcus, which of course we lost due to half the team literally getting caught out big time. I find that particular ad often comes back to bite the Vics in situations like these.

Once we figured out who was playing, a lot of fun was had speculating on who their support act would be. My favourites were Nickelback and/or Linkin Park for pure contrast in both style and quality. Just hearing "Fleetwood Mac with special guests Short Stack!" is enough to bring a smile to my stupid easily amused face. When I first heard of Short Stack could only envisage singing emo pancakes in spray on jeans and 'meggings' (Men in tights, but nothing like the Mel Brooks movie).

Indeed apart from that there wasn't all that much to smile about at the game itself. The only real point of interest was when the Chiu household lord and saviour Cam White brought himself on to bowl a couple of overs. Perhaps that was the omen I should've been looking out for. No, Whitey... no!

If you squint just enough you'll see White's stats on the scoreboard. This pretend obsession is almost definitely unhealthy.

On a completely unrelated note, I realise it's been a very long time since I wrote anything here. Uni aside, writing these is a lot harder than it used to be given that I probably over think things too much so I end up rewriting a lot of what you see here. It's also a bit more difficult as I still link these posts through FriendFace/FaceSpace/SpaceFrame and I've become a lot more conscious as to who might be reading this pile of merde. Not that I expect many people to actually read whatever I write anyway.

I've come to see this as the test match version of blogging and my Twitter feed as the T20 version. Whichever form of the game I stick with remains to be seen. In any case, here endeth the hiatus.

With Love and Squalor

2009-09-15T02:45:00.000+10:00

No, scratch that. Only squalor applies here in the world of student architecture, where even coffee from 7-11 counts as a 'quality' stimulant. So this is what it comes down to, empty sushi packaging, Maccas and painkillers for what is presumably the overwhelming burden of expectation. I took this a couple of weeks back during one of my day night sessions in the labs and I'm not too surprised I managed to generate this much mess over lunch and dinner. I guess the world is right when they accuse us of being the worst polluters per capita.

The offending photograph in question was taken at my favourite spot in 516, the computer in the far corner of the room next to the window. I like it because it has plenty of natural light and space I can stare out into, plus having one less computer next to me means there's one less opportunity that I'll be annoyed by the person next to me. I know that sounds harsh but deal with it. Aside from food there's a book I was reading at the time, "Atlas of Novel Tectonics" which I'm considering buying over the interwebs just because it has a really cool cover. As the lady judge on Iron Chef might say, "Oooh, the texture!" On top of the book are my iPod, painkillers and student access card which I keep face down for a very good reason - my evil alter ego lives there. It's not my fault the girl who took my photo in first year didn't give a shit, and because of her I'm stuck with it for the remainder of my uni career. Interestingly enough, the painkillers I've been taking are recommended for "Headaches, back pain, muscle pain and period pain". That'll learn me for watching that episode of Gossip Girl.

I've come to accept the terms of my workload. Time is some sort of luxury that I cannot afford, but that only applies during the final 24 hours before something is due. Though surprisingly for an assignment we managed to get it done the day before, which must've been some sort of minor miracle worthy of church and press coverage. Actually we finished it early because we got an extension for our other subject all thanks to classmates who were doing a vastly more difficult subject. Bless each and every one of them, I say.

The not so funny thing about that assignment was that two of my friends who could've easily worked together were instead working with other people just because they got asked first. In both cases, each respective partner seemingly did as little work as possible while my friends did all the heavy lifting. And these were the friends who had the insanely difficult subject too. In the end we agreed they should have fobbed their partners off and let them outcasts work together. At least that way it'd become a contest to see who could do the least work.

On the upside, I was meant to go into uni tomorrow to work on a group project but my partner bailed on me at the last second... so I get to stay home! When I was telling my sister I ended up doing some sort of weird dance where I kept on chanting "homehomehomehomehome!" several times over. The thing is, I really like being at home. It's not only where the heart is, all my stuff is here too. I really really like my stuff.

As I've become annoyed at beginning each other post with an apology for not posting more often, said apology wil now come at the end of every post. Forgiveness, please!

Lil' Bhaj

2009-08-21T01:45:00.000+10:00

One of my goldfish died the other day. I know they're not meant to live all that long but it's weird all the same. As a family we grew pretty attached to it, possibly because we gave them all names and personalities. The fact my sister and I named most of them after cricketers is neither here nor there, we're still waiting for Whitey (also the name of one of my external hard drives...) to get back into the test squad. This one was named Bhaji after a certain foul tempered Indian spinner. He won my 'Fish of the Month' award several months running, though he could never comprehend the trophy presentation ceremony. We ended up burying him in the backyard under the lemon tree. I've been to friends' places where their considerably larger, more tangible pets have been buried in their backyards and the feeling is still similar for some reason. Lousy emotional attachment.

The parents went out a couple of weeks later and bought a couple of new tiny fish since they reckoned the three remaining ones were starting to look sad or bored. One of them is the same sort of breed and the other is a sort of black and gold colour. We made an agreement that we wouldn't name them until they actually lived for more than a month or so, but I've started calling one of them Baby Bhaji... and so the cycle begins again.

**********

It's almost the end of the month and I've been pretty quiet on the blogging front, what with the new semester and all. It took me until week three to truly feel like I'm in the second semester, such was the hangover of the first semester. All it took were a couple of near all nighters to get me started again, and thanks to first semester I no longer require what most people refer to as sleep (since it's so overrated) so I can work a lot more effectively. One of the unintended side effects of that semester is that I'm fairly used to putting a few more hours into work so I'm managing to keep on top of things for now. Of course I'm still as lazy as hell and I didn't help myself when I bought Civilisation for my iPod. So long productivity, greetings turn based strategy!

If you've bothered reading this far, thank you once again... I shall reward you with a random factoid that will only make sense to last semester's survivor group.
- The following words will hereby be excised from my vocabulary: compelling, dilemma.
- The following words will be given additional precedence: idle, hammer.
Something tells me I've missed a couple of words here and there.

Engrish, Please

2009-08-06T01:15:00.000+10:00

It's not half as funny until you try reading it out aloud.

Oh, The Ironing.

2009-07-30T01:44:00.000+10:00

And now for some more nonsensical photos, conveying jokes that perhaps aren't really jokes. On the tram to uni the other day, I came across a fairly ironic pair of posters.

As the Lee Harding (shudders) album title goes, what's wrong with this picture? And whatever happened to that guy, is he still "entertaining" troops in Iraq? As if post traumatic stress in a war torn area wasn't enough. Ouch, harsh.

Cool, apart from a somewhat buggered bonnet all seems well. And a nice poster for the new flick 'Drag Me To Hell'. And not even five metres away there are posters for...

Nickelback! Who says irony is dead. As the Queen might say, "One likes One's pants around One's feet". Huh?

The Two Faces of Matt Preston, And Other Stories!

2009-07-26T02:06:00.000+10:00

In this second in the series of catch up posts, I wish to draw your attention to the way a certain TV show has captured the nation's imagination and made cult figures out of its stars. I wish I was speaking of the Mr. T late night infomercial but no, it's MasterChef. (Personally I was quite happy the filthy beer merchant didn't win, the look on his face during the final was priceless.) The papers could not get enough of the show and took every possible angle no matter how tenuous. The photo below is from The Sunday Age.

I didn't think it'd be too difficult a task to find a photograph where all three judges were in the same shot. It really makes the other two look like shunners and Preston seem like the shunnee. I know, another made up word... I'm sorry. Secondly, seeing as Preston works for The Age I fail to see how they of all people could not manage to find a half decent shot of him that doesn't look like he's about to eat someone whole.

This shot in context seems fine enough without the cropping. It's still a little scary but his head doesn't take up the entire shot so it's not too bad. Or they could use that creepy photoshoot (which can be found on the Matt Preston fan page on Facebook) where he's biting down on a bunch of chilli peppers while trying to be seductive. Either way he's on the list of my new heroes.

*****

Speaking of heroes, I came within half a metre of meeting one of them the other night. I went along with my sister to see Paul Dempsey at the Newtown Workers Club on Tuesday night. I had to apologise profusely for making her wait who knows how long since I was stuck at uni for a bit longer than I hoped and made up for it by buying her dinner and paying for tickets. Never say I don't care, because it just isn't true.

In any case we needn't have worried about getting there on time since there was easily enough space for everyone. We got a spot near the front though so I can't complain. I had no idea what to expect from the set, the only solo material I had heard so far were the two singles and they certainly sounded promising. I wasn't expecting him to play any Something For Kate material but he played 'The Astronaut' and 'Pinstripe' at Glen(n)'s repeated inebriated requests. The rest of the solo material was pretty solid even if I can't remember the majority of the song titles. Paul's live work is excellent, he often puts a different spin on album tracks to give them a new lease of life which makes seeing him or SFK always worthwhile.

As I said before I was came really close to meeting the man, but my idolism got in the way. Potentially meeting a personal hero means near instant paralysis and a shit eating grin on this face of mine, and this usually lasts until that person leaves the room or calls security. It's not really my fault, I'm just scared of saying something incredibly stupid.

*****

I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to write in full the extent of what happened in my studio this first semester, so much happened and yet seemingly so little was produced. Without going into too much detail those who did not have prior bookings to go overseas pretty much stuck behind and worked on this thing on a daily basis with very little time for a break. Perhaps I'm lacking the correct 'attitude' in my approach to the entire thing but there weren't a lot of opportunities to catch up with friends over this past month. So when I caught up with a bunch of non-architecture friends last Saturday I seemed to appreciate the entire thing a lot more than usual.

The day was fairly intensive transport wise, being in transit for a lot of the day zipping from place to place. I had to stop by uni first in the morning (as was often the case over these holidays) to do some work and check on things and that meant jumping on a train at 9am on a Saturday in the middle of winter. On the platform at Heidelberg this crazy old man walked past me holding two bags of shopping, muttering under his breath while making a bold fashion statement by wearing shorts. Perhaps you don't need trousers when you've got a lifetime of bitterness to keep you warm, something I look forward to doing in later years.

After performing my duties at uni I rushed down to catch a train to Croydon just to play cards. I really shouldn't bother going such long distances just to do things like that but there are times when I absolutely need to be playing cards. This was one of those times. The trip from the city to Croydon takes about an hour so I passed the time sleeping or listening to music, my default public transport stance. Cards didn't go too bad, I came third overall and fun was had for all. Afterwards I hitched a lift to the station and jumped on the new bus back to Heidelberg, where the trusty Vengabus was waiting in the car park. I used to catch that bus every day to school, and having a new bus route replacing the bus where I spent many a morning and afternoon wasn't as odd as I first thought. I guess it is only a bus route after all.

For the sake of retaining dignity in the years to come I shouldn't put this into writing but my driving experience is limited at best, and I haven't had all that much night driving time under my belt. So it was probably fortunate that it was dark because I managed to flip one lever too many and ended up with the windscreen wipers on for the entire trip home. Any attempt to switch it off ended up making them just go faster or even worse the water nozzle would trigger, making it just as well the wipers were on. I did manage to get rid of them after I pulled into the garage after fiddling around for a couple more minutes though.

After gracing my family with my presence for a quick dinner I hitched another lift from a friend and went to what is probably our group's favourite restaurant, The Pancake Parlour in Doncaster. We refer to it as the Stoner Parlour since it never closes and those ads on the radio seem to think stoners are their primary market. I haven't seen many of these guys for the majority of the holidays and it was a bit annoying that uni kept me away from the remnants of my social life for so long. That stuff didn't matter much once we got there though, I regaled them with stories of my triumphant occasionally superior card playing skills over those noobs and they replied by doing parts of the Thriller dance. Seems apt really. Contrary to popular belief the Stoner Parlour is not full of stoners at 10pm, in fact it was full of normal looking folk that made us look like the weirdos, what with our bad singing and pretend zombie movements.

Looking for some time to burn we then went back to my place to watch The Ashes until 1 or so. Haddin produced bye after bye without fail and it was fun watching my friends predict byes with staggering accuracy. This was probably the first time in ages I let people come over to my place. I often have people drop me off but letting them into the House of Chiu is another matter entirely (I came up with that phrase during Year 12 camp while pouring water for friends at lunch). I once had a bunch of friends over my place back in Hong Kong and I had a ridiculous time trying to prevent them from breaking anything. Ever since then I have had this aversion to having anyone over, or at least in large groups I can tame with pepper spray, or a large trap door inhabited by an equally large trap door spider.

I was pretty buggered by the end of it but it was definitely worth it. In the seemingly never ending shitstorm that is my studio, this was the textbook definition of a perfect day.

Join me next time when I drag you to my definition of hell.

The Vengabus

2009-07-23T19:39:00.000+10:00

Now that my work for semester one is largely out of the way, it's time to catch up on my beloved blog, the place I put my writing effort into when I'm not writing hastily written, poorly researched essays or letters of complaint to various media outlets over their treatment of the programme "Extreme Paintball". A few weeks back I had to head into uni over the weekend. However it wasn't all bad, I got to drive the Vengabus down to the train station on my ownsome. I know that's not a word but it feels right.

Right now I haven't been driving into town because I haven't had all that much experience driving despite my full licence status. My sister successfully downgraded my driving skills by hogging up all possible driving time practising for her multiple driving tests. I won't say how many because I lost count after a while. As a result I am possibly the least experienced fully licensed driver in the state (not as bad as Alan Davies in that episode of Jonathan Creek where he drives in first gear down a highway) but I am working away at that one trip at a time.

As per usual, while semi proofreading I have forgotten to explain how we named our car. It's a tribute of sorts to one of my favourite shows ever, "Get This" and the late Richard Marsland who was forced into an impromptu performance of the Vengabus live on air. It didn't matter that he used lyrics from two Vengaboys songs, it's not like anyone can still remember the lyrics to any of their songs anyway.

Here's to years of competent driving and adequate parking. I'm done with this post, onto the next one!

Lousy Avian Sense Of Entitlement

2009-07-17T14:38:00.001+10:00

At this rate the birds will be going through my bag looking for food. Why don't they go get a job or something?

So It Goes

2009-07-13T22:35:00.000+10:00

The other night I spoke to an old friend for the first time in more than eight years. Just talking about what we were doing with ourselves brought up a lot of things from the past and what could've been.

Online reunions of this sort are proof that Facebook is not a complete waste of time. No, it's only really 70 - 80% wastage. It was through the site I discovered my friend had already been married with a kid with another on the way, and he's a year younger than me. I saw his baby photos online and he's possibly the most adorable thing you've ever seen. He told me he was taking up further studies at night school, presumably to provide a better life for his new family. It's a lot of work but I love the feeling that he's preparing for such an exciting future. I think part of me is jealous that he seems to have found exactly what he wants in life at such a young age, I wish things would line up for me so easily. We used to be that close back in primary school, I guess he'd classify as a best friend during those simpler times. Goes to show you never know what time will do whilst you've been away.

While our conversation was a welcome respite from the happenings of uni life, I lay in bed for what felt like an eternity lost in thought. Regular readers will notice I have a fairly vivid and weird imagination, and that night I found myself dreaming up scenarios where I'm living an entirely different life based on my memories. It's sad enough when you have to move away from what you know and all the people you have come to love. I've been doing that for a lot of my early years and truth be told I never fully got used to it. I always picture each significant move not just as a separate part of my life, but an entirely new life altogether where people and places are left behind for a new incarnation to take hold.

And what else do we leave behind? Besides these things, in my mind the greatest thing left behind is possibility. Because I left Hong Kong to come here to Australia I dropped out of contact with so many people. And I am often left wondering how I would've turned out if I had never left. My nagging suspicion tells me I may have turned out like some of my nastier relatives (being in a place like HK does things to you after a while) but the personal relationships end up feeling like loose ends without a satisfying conclusion.

Yet despite all these things, I do not wish that this path never occurred. While I certainly regret doing certain things I suppose there's no point dwelling on them all day long. The other day I was chatting away with some of my fellow studio detainees and some of them suggested that taking it was the worst decision of their lives. While I admit the workload has been ridiculously high for such an invisible outcome and a lot of stress has come out of being at uni almost every day from the beginning of semester up until now, in my mind I still feel that the silver lining makes some of it worthwhile. In this studio I have met many wonderful people (and some not so) who I may not have met otherwise.

Having this conversation was pretty good for me though. It's making me think I should head back there again some time soon. I definitely need a break from uni, especially given I haven't had much of a winter break to speak of. At the start of the year a friend floated the idea of flying up to visit my other best friend from my former high school life who now lives in Singapore. That now seems like a very good idea indeed, now to get some money and make it happen...

*****

In case I forget down the track, the title of this post comes from the Kurt Vonnegut novel Slaughterhouse-Five. It's the first real book I've had the chance to read in what seems like forever and it's a great read. The main character becomes 'unstuck' in time, causing him to randomly leap back and forwards through his life. In this way even though he experiences his own birth and death several times over, he does not really die because he can see the entirety of his existence. It's definitely worth reading and I'll be looking for a copy of my own some time down the track.

Real Life "Burgo's Catch Phrase"

2009-07-03T11:32:00.001+10:00

I shouldn't miss that show but I kinda do. Sure beats the hell out of that suitcase show.

Pants Related Emergencies

2009-06-24T01:48:00.000+10:00

In yet more evidence that I should take care in what I say online, I made a comment about the closure of the Jeans West outlet in the basement of the Union House building. Didn't know it was there? I'm not sure they did either.

The main difference is that I made my comments on my Twitter feed, where I test out moronic potential Facebook status updates in 140 characters or less.

And of course, being a trendy clothing retail entity they have their own Twitter account. So imagine my surprise when I check my feed for updates and find this:

It's nice to see the guy or girl operating their account chose to overlook my attempts at sarcasm. Such great sports. Now to get myself some sort of sponsorship.

I'll try for a real update next time, maybe some pictures of the Vengabus or something.

Sleep Log

2009-06-18T01:35:00.000+10:00

I'm still busy typing away at stuff until Friday, but until then I think it's important that I keep in touch so people won't think I'm dead and start to fight over things I've lent them.

Let's see, I had my design presentation on Saturday. Before then, I was busy finishing off my A1 boards and my A5 design journal and subsquently I was up for about 48 hours straight, save a couple of micronaps while other people were presenting. I didn't feel like sleeping much until sometime in the afternoon when all the caffeine I had consumed was starting to wear off, but I recovered in time to present.

Afterwards I believe my sleeping schedule was something along the lines of:
- Saturday night, 8.30 - 12.30
- Sunday morning, 1.30 - 5.10
- Sunday morning, 5.20 - 2.00pm
- Sunday afternoon, 5.00 - 7.00

By the end of it I wasn't completely sure what day it was. Every day seemed like Sunday to me. Unfortunately I compared notes with other people in my class and someone had beaten me by sleeping a full 24 hours straight, her parents thought she had lapsed into some sort of coma.

I think that's all the time I have for the now, will update in the not too distant future with a proper match report. In the meantime let me dazzle you with the random stuff I've been doing these past few weeks.

Feels Like Fail

2009-06-06T02:36:00.000+10:00

And now for yet another in this anti homework series of procrastinatory based posts.

Is my sense of irony reading too much into the fact that the official NRL song for this year happens to contain lyrics about the protagonist having a one night stand with a mysterious woman who he "never saw again, but that was alright"? The moral of the story is that I should never listen to pop song lyrics ever again, lest it rot my brains.

As for real news, doomsday is fast approaching and I only have a shonky umbrella for cover. My design is rapidly coming to a close, but not nearly rapidly enough. I'm going to start studying for my exam tomorrow in the hopes that I can at least get a pass. I went out and borrowed a few more books to help with my essay but I really don't know how well I can make it all gel together in a week and a bit. Yea, I'm downgrading my expectations for my other subjects which isn't really the best thing to do. Design had better be bloody worth it.

Those books aren't the best indication of scale, but that chair sure is.

Lastly, the University has released yet another revised grading system. My only question is: in this age of the Internet infiltrating both popular and unpopular culture, when will we see an "Epic Fail" grade where your results are delivered by the Twitter Fail Whale? I might be needing one of those soon...

The Hate List

2009-06-02T23:35:00.000+10:00

A brief sidetracking off the highway to drudgery:

Today my sister and I were on what was possibly the best Connex service ever. We managed to identify which shade of blue we do not want 'our' future car to be, and it certainly won't be lavender. We also came across a man who either had the world's worst seeing eye dog/poodle, or perhaps he was just wearing sunglasses because he felt like it - the fact he was carrying a small dog on a leash implies nothing. We were listening to the new Eskimo Joe record and agreed that a lot of it wouldn't sound out of place in a redubbing of The Breakfast Club soundtrack. Freeze frame! At Flinders, we then witnessed a couple of gentlemen who were dressed awfully like Vincent Vega and Jules from Pulp Fiction after they are paid a visit from Harvey Keitel's Cleaner character. There's something inherently suspicious about two men wearing bad tshirts and shorts on a 15 degree day, that's just my opinion.

Exhibit A can be found right at the end at about 3:15.

Oh in case you didn't notice that throwaway line, my sister did indeed pass her driving test and we're looking for a car to smash around for the next couple of years. I won't say how many times she took to pass, not even I know the number for sure. Cheap shots aside, I look forward to playing "Would you drive that?" while pointing at cars out the window of various methods of public transport. My current favourite is a race between a forklift or a wheelie bin. On the upside, a bin has ultra low fuel consumption and is very low maintenance. On the downside, it's the transport of choice for the hosts of Jackass. That really burns my style.

One last thing before I leave you for the time being. Someone should remind me that this day every year shall be known as "Hate on Cassandra Day". No need to explain why since it should seem so self explanatory to everyone who isn't Cass or myself. Just remember to BYO megaphone.

The Rapidly Deteriorating State of My Locker

2009-05-30T02:29:00.000+10:00

Hey look, the semester's over? Unfortunately I didn't really have as much free time as I thought I did, so I've been putting off this post for quite some time now. I wrote this around a month ago, perhaps I was waiting for something else to add to it but I'm not sure what. There's plenty more to say but I'll save that for another time...

(In best Jack Bauer voice) The following takes place between the 25th and 26th of April, 2009.

--------------------------------------------------------

Hey look, free time! Where'd that come from?

In the time since my last locker status update, conditions have take a turn for the worst. Crappy uncompleted models lying around not being able to fulfill their destiny due to a lack of time. Indeed time is a luxury no one in my class has at the moment.

We've been trying to create a mockup of our proposed atrium archway model and it's fair to say it's been nothing short of a nightmare for everyone involved. To try and get things done I spent an all nighter sitting in the labs churning out panel after panel of work that the other guys had been working so hard to produce.

I'm pretty sure that's more masking tape than I've used in my entire life, but all that tape was consumed quickly in one night, taping freshly cut pieces of toxic MDF. Yay for us!

I started around one in the afternoon or so and kept on trucking until about eight the following morning, when I had to go out and play cards, followed by a quick nap at home and accompanying my sister to see Eagles of Death Metal at eight Sunday evening. Two bottles of Lemon V can take you that far but eventually it all catches up with you. I get pretty emo when something that happens so I should really apologise if you were the unintended target of my misguided rage.

I have a lot of trouble trying to explain exactly what kind of music the Eagles of Death Metal play. The name itself is so misleading that no one really cares for my explanations and frankly there probably isn't much point unless I pull out my iPod and play some of their stuff. I believe my sister would've had a similar problem as I only went along because she couldn't find anyone else to go with her. That's obscurity for you but then we can't all be fans of Miley Cyrus.

The best way to work out a setlist - squint at a blurry photograph taken in the dark.

The really disappointing part was that the support acts took their sweet time (on the upside Kram was great) and by the time the main act started I could only stick around for the first few songs before I had to pop back into uni to update myself on what was going on. This studio has a lot to answer for. Fortunately my sister was able to use our camera to tape the encore which had my personal favourite from EoDM, "Speaking in Tongues" which comes complete with an interlude where the lead breaks into well, his take on speaking in tongues. Great song from a band that doesn't take itself too seriously, just don't let the video scare you off.

Getting back to the reason my life is a living hell, the annoying part is that the computer generated parametric model on which my all nighter was based was ditched in favour of a modified scheme. For something on this scale, design development is just another term for massive waste of time, materials and effort. So many futile exercises and for what, I don't really know. All I know is that I'm the proud owner of a box full of MDF diamonds and damnit, I'm going to use them for something.

-----------------------------------------

Since that a fair bit has happened, hopefully it won't take me another month to update you on this particular front. Join me next time when I get my own theme tune. No, really.

Guided Strike, Or Bad Newspaper Caption Of The Day

2009-05-16T01:39:00.000+10:00

In today/yesterday's Age, the government takes a more radical approach to kangaroo population control.

Negative Pulse

2009-05-12T15:22:00.000+10:00

Good luck getting your hands on a copy of Maelstrom Pulse, if the online catalogue for Good Games is anything to go by.

In other news, hurray for lecturers taking random holidays! Both my design tutor and construction lecturer are away for the week (hopefully not on the same holiday) leaving us with half the break we so sorely needed over Easter. Still have work to do but it's better than nothing. Time to get everything back on track, hope to post later when procrastination time comes around next.

Belation

2009-05-10T01:50:00.000+10:00

Yea I don't really know if that's a word but it's got a lot more of a chance at being real, unlike Nathan Buckley's wholesale slaughter of the English language in his use of the newly discovered verb 'evolutionise'. It just goes to show that footballers should not be allowed anywhere near a word processor. They just end up disabling spell check with their ego based reality distortion fields and ruin everything. On the other hand, for some reason I don't mind Robert Murphy's column too much even if it really has next to nothing to do with football. It's certainly less objectionable than say, Grant Thomas' stint at The Age a couple of years back. Reading his column you'd never know he had a chip on his shoulder the entire time...

Well I've been so busy lately I haven't even had time to update my poor old blog, what with its multiple obscure references to Toto and the Backstreet Boys. I have to make an apology to my blog at this moment in time due to the fact that I, like all inconsiderate partners, have forgotten its birthday. As of last Monday, Say Something turned two years old and is now crawling along nicely while spewing all over my fine china and shattering my carpet into a thousand pieces. During this time I have covered a lot of ground, from work to uni and a hundred random YouTube videos in between. Hopefully I'll be able to keep doing so for a long time to come. I've come to treat this blog as an odd combination of a personal journal and poorly thought out joke depository, waiting for the day when I can look back at the old posts and wonder what the hell I was on and use some of said bad jokes for a sketch show starring Tandy as a break dancing Asian cricketer with an awful secret. I don't know what that secret is yet but that's how they write shows like 'Lost' or 'Today Tonight' - just make it up as you go along.

Too late to make a thoughtless gift for my beloved blog? I'd rather not bring down the mood on this post by talking about my stupid time consuming, life sapping studio so I'm going to give you something else. If you pay enough attention to this blog then well done, restraining orders will be in the post in the coming weeks. Otherwise you'd know I'm currently working on a paper on the architecture of virtual space, in particular computer games. It's a great way of combining the things that I love most and it certainly keeps me motivated enough to make me want to see it through. Have a read in your spare time, it's about 2000 words so it'll easily take a few moments of your time. Suggestions are more than welcome.

For some insane reason Google Docs won't allow me to publish PDFs via the web. Someone really needs to pay attention over there. So for now here's the text only version , I'm afraid you'll have to imagine the pretty pictures all by yourselves. Join me next time when I wander the premises after dark.

Chicken Based Produce

2009-04-21T02:38:00.000+10:00

Still no time to write anything overly substantial, not that said quality was ever really present to begin with. Still, it's 2am and thanks to my everlasting commitments to uni I don't feel like sleeping just yet. I don't know how regular people pull it off really.

Here's a nice photo I took early on in the semester where I didn't actually have all that much to store. Can't say there's too much time to actually play now, though I did manage to have a quick hit out the other day. Made a rotten effort of it really... I'm either blaming the fading afternoon sunlight or I've completely forgotten how to read a ball.

This is partially what I do with my waking hours now. assembling computer generated, laser cut models that don't actually work because the material is so lousy at doing anything. Unfortunately the alternative is MDF, a product widely promoted as the next asbestos. In fact I'm pretty certain I had some MDF for dinner in class tonight, fun times.

If we really can be helped we'd probably go to Nando's or KFC for some refreshing chicken grease. They make the best products to ever come out of mashing a chicken into little pieces for our nourishment. Given the chance though, I'd try and get some red meat instead... unless you want Sam Neill coming after you dressed like his character in Event Horizon, sans eyes claiming that we were meant to eat red meat while tearing chunks of flesh off you and dancing some sort of jig. What a nice thought to finish on...

Now We Are All Chlorophiles

2009-04-10T22:47:00.000+10:00

Doesn't that sound really dirty in an uncool kind of way? This following video was brought to you by a white man named Sanjay Jones. Almost everything about this video is ridiculous. From the initial concept to the hammy acting and the little details about our future lives, if there's one thing about the future we can look forward to, it'd be the porn cloud!

In other news, I need to find more time to write. I'm currently attempting to write a 4000 word paper comparing real world and video game architecture, which is kinda fun. At least it gives me a work related excuse to play Max Payne 2 and UT again, so perhaps I'll update the blog with details later on. Now if you'll excuse me I have to do some "research"...

Good Ol' News Feed...

2009-03-31T19:04:00.001+11:00

... a source of unexpected humour. In its defence, I suppose it's a math quiz and not a grammatical and spelling challenge.

Frakking Toasters

2009-03-11T00:54:00.000+11:00

I got my John Avon signed Alara MPS lands in the post today, my rational Asian cheapo strongly advised against buying them in the first place but I really couldn't resist. I even got to communicate with the man via email, fulfilling some sort of nerdcore fantasy I suppose. Not that I went crazy with the complements and use of netspeak - I was far too self conscious to do that.

I should really take better care of my money, especially when I'm too busy studying to work a proper job that wasn't described in "Gangs of Oz". In the meantime though I'm still waiting for any potential windfall from the Rudd government to reach my bank account so that I can purchase this little item. Not sure if Rudd intended for all this money to go overseas like that though.

For those not in the know, this is a toaster with a theme based upon the Cylons from the updated version of Battlestar Galactica. In this universe they substitue all the swearing with the word 'Frak'. It also turns out they refer to the Cylons as toasters. That's an awful lot of explanation for an insider joke in a way that is guaranteed to confuse and alienate all those who can't understand why you would want your toast made with a Cylon head burnt into it. Never mind that the show is actually good and very serious in the way that the Stargate series is not (MacGyver in space?!), I just love a good space opera.

Don't know if I'd actually use it to make toast though. It looks far too pretty.

Partially Full Time Uni

2009-03-04T01:06:00.000+11:00

Time to begin yet another year at uni, which has so far been my life's true Neverending Story. No flying talking giant dogs but that's probably a good thing anyway. Where would you park him, with rates in the inner suburbs being exorbitantly high without even contemplating how many spaces a giant dog would need in the first place.

This really seemingly dream timetable would treat all weekends as long weekends. My inner lazy person was pretty tempted to take this one in spite of the seven hour learning marathon on Wednesdays, but that rational speaking dude sent him to watch some TV and I think I'll end up shifting my clash subject to something more manageable. It won't be on either of those days but then I'll be able to spend more time at uni with my 'peeps' and all my stalkers, you know who you are.

Oh well, it was nice to think about for a while. The timetable that is, not the stalkers.

Bluffin' With My Muffin

2009-02-25T20:20:00.000+11:00

Curse you Lady Gaga, what does that even mean? If the explanation of the lyrics are to be believed, she sure has one expressive body.

Cricket, cards, more cricket and then some poker. All in all a good day out, but no poker game would be complete without some sort of god hand. Such hands are more impressive as we don't use decks that are obviously rigged like those used on poker tournaments on TV. We had it on in the background and pocket aces showed up no less than three times in the same tournament. Who needs statistical reality when you can entertain everyone at home?

The closest we got to something like that was this hand. Such crazy luck, I'm so sorry Ken.

Judging from this captured memento it looks like I was the dealer in this round. Seems natural that I'd end up giving myself the upper hand...

Slow N' Toast

2009-02-23T23:19:00.002+11:00

I could blame Tandy for going to losing Bushrangers' games. I could blame Cameron White's "Six or Bust" batting. I could blame my sister for not bringing me another free piece of food. But nothing will take away the fact that we blew yet another final at the G'. This has all the beginnings of a trend, one that I don't care for at all... I sure hope we don't become the Geelong of cricket finals.

My sister is now a sports journalist in training which in short means she gets to go to the press box and go to press conferences afterwards. That meant I had a fair but undefined amount of time to waste after the cursed innings so I went with Tandy to a HK style cafe restaurant in the city and got what I always got in HK... French toast!

I only now realise I have developed this strange habit of taking photos of my food whenever I eat out. But how else will I memorialise that egg and ham on instant noodle? I also realise I could easily make that at home for nothing, but you can't go wrong with HK style cuisine... unless the MSG and grease does something awful to you down the line.

In an entirely unrelated note, in my complete and utter boredom/supreme vanity the other day I set up a Twitter account, you can locate it here and via the widget on my front page sidebar. So far only two people I barely know use it, but if this thing takes off like everyone says it will then I might have a reason to use it 2000 times a day. Then you will all know when and what I'm eating...

Missing

2009-02-19T00:55:00.000+11:00

Not too much to say today, just relieved that things turned out alright in the end, especially when anything could've happened. Waiting around for an entire day not knowing what to do when in all probability anything you do won't help at all. You know things are probably alright but the helplessness and lack of information makes things difficult at best.

I've had people suddenly depart from my life before and not all have returned, each person had their own problems that were completely out of my hands. From experience, not every case has a happy ending. Thankfully this one of the good times.

Better Than Bradman

2009-02-15T23:10:00.006+11:00

...Well at least for the few glorious moments until he holed out in the deep trying to hit another six. And don't forget he also has a perfect record as national vice captain in the T20 format. It's all upside, people!

In The Midnight Hour

2009-02-13T02:13:00.006+11:00

It's two in the morning and it seems the world is about to fall apart. Everyone is falling victim one by one to an insatiable curse and pretty soon there will be no one left who hasn't done it. For now my resolve is good but I fear it may not last long enough. Resistance may prove to be futile... as no one can resist the urge of Facebook's "25 Random Facts About Me".

So far at least four people I know have done theirs, and it seems to spread quick. Just last week it was on the wall of a friend in Hong Kong. Who knows how long it'll be before it overruns the world? Whether I end up doing one or not may not be an event of my choosing, just remember that loyal readers. Indeed peer pressure is a weapon far more potent than any body snatching alien invasion. People even point at you and scream if you act otherwise.

Ooh, did someone make an obscure "Rebel Yell" reference?

Oh, if you haven't seen "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" go and do yourself a favour. The 1978 version will do just fine. Scared the shit out of me as a kid... does that count as a random fact? It's already happening....

Slurping One's Soup

2009-02-08T01:35:00.002+11:00

Sometimes I feel it's my responsibility to tell the people about superior television programming. Most people have better things to do with their lives but there's no need to take that kind of tone with me, we're all friends here after all.

As part of my commitment to late night cult shows, I stumbled upon 30 Rock a couple of years ago and it has become what some refer to as appointment television. The following clip is one of the many reasons I love this show... Alec Baldwin is suburb in this scene.

The 3rd season has just started so catch it if you can. Until next time, don't order the largest meal on the menu at the Pancake Parlour and follow up with a Super Sundae, even if you are sharing with four other people.

Time to get this picture framed and hung on my wall, just like Lemon.

Tester

2009-02-03T23:35:00.012+11:00

Hmm let's see if this works.

Yay, it did! Or did it? If it didn't, that was just me attempting to embed a playlist using the newish iLike playlist tool. It might be something I'll be using every now and then to cobble lists together with a little sample. Unfortunately most of these lists will be filled with bad music so don't get your hopes up. I've actually had this list on the front page for some time but since a lot of feed reading is done I thought it might be fun to put it into a post for all to see and groan. It'd be even handier if it could read properly on an RSS feed, but one thing at a time. Here's the complete list in case the widget decides to fail.

Top Ten Reasons No One Comes To Your Parties Anymore
Party All The Time - Eddie Murphy
Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley
Last Christmas - Wham!
Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus
The Way I Are - Timbaland
Mr. Tambourine Man - William Shatner
Convoy - CW McCall
Rock Me Amadeus - Falco
The Touch - Stan Bush
Figured You Out - Nickelback

Admittedly I like a lot of those songs just because they're so bad, but that doesn't apply to Nickelback. It's a really good/bad way to cap it off.

Wake Up, Jeff!!

2009-02-03T00:12:00.002+11:00

Note to future self: wake up on time, especially when people are waiting on you. I could give you advice on things like the importance of wearing sunscreen, but this is probably just as important if you don't wish to look and feel like an idiot.

I usually have two devices that help me wake up when I should: the usual trusty alarm clock and the timer function on my radio. The trouble with this set up is that I have subconsciously learnt to override them. On this occasion I managed to switch the alarm off along with the snooze, then proceeded to use the radio to send myself back to sleep. The solution would be to get another alarm clock and place it somewhere else so I actually have to get out of bed, but then I'm afraid I might develop a sleepwalking routine where I switch off each of my fail safes and go back to bed.

Normally this doesn't matter too much but I was meant to go to a PR a fair way away and I don't exactly have the ability to teleport or wind back time. I guess I could easily blame them for setting such an early time... who gets up at 7am to play cards in the midst of the most prolonged heat wave we've seen in who knows how long? I could also blame my mobile phone for running out of battery rendering me completely impervious to communications, but really it's mostly my fault for enjoying my weekend sleepins a bit more than I should.

Here ends this note. Oh, one more thing future self: stop eating those cheap cup noodles from Aldi's. They may taste great, but they're probably very bad for you.

Top 100 And A Bit

2009-01-27T01:47:00.005+11:00

This year I decided to vote in Triple J's Hottest 100 poll and see how alternatively conformist my musical tastes are. Here are my choices, please don't hate me too much if you disagree with my final ten. Just remember that democracy doesn't always work when it comes to pop culture or the past eight years of American politics.

I chose to go for my favourite songs from the available list, which of course doesn't necessarily turn out to be the best or most popular, but I feel like I can justify most of my selections.

N/A - Eagles of Death Metal - Anything 'Cept The Truth
N/A - End Of Fashion - Fussy
#29 - Josh Pyke - Make You Happy
N/A - Kate Nash - Mouthwash
#24 - Kings Of Leon - Closer
N/A - The Living End - How Do We Know
#02 - MGMT - Electric Feel
#35 - Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds - Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!
#75 - Tame Impala - Half Full Glass Of Wine
#78 - Ting Tings - Shut Up And Let Me Go

(N/A - Did Not Chart)

Six out of ten isn't too bad I guess, for a list that only had one Kings of Leon and MGMT track. Electric Feel was a virtual given, while Closer was more of an outsider's choice. I still feel that track was better overall compared to Sex on Fire though, it had more of a slow burning feel to it... just not the same kind of burning in Sex on Fire. Nothing that some medication can't fix, I'm sure.

I was surprised by the placings of Josh Pyke and The Ting Tings; I was expecting them to be at the opposite ends of the chart actually. Apparently the guitar boat in Pyke's music video is soon to be auctioned on eBay... a part of me really wants that boat. The Tame Impala and Nick Cave songs were in around where I expected, it was just nice to see them chart really. I confess I haven't heard all that much of Cave's back catalogue, that's something I plan on fixing in future.

As for the ones that failed to chart, the Eagles and TLE tracks were the ones I was hoping would do well. Perhaps the Josh Homme effect only applies to Queens of the Stone Age and outside that reaches only as far as this household. As a side project to QotSA the Eagles manages to produce music that doesn't take itself too seriously while retaining a quality missing in several comparable acts. This particular song is far superior to the lead single off the album in my honest opinion but that's just me. I had a similar feeling towards How Do We Know, it being a more rock worthy song than White Noise which feels like a lead single by-the-numbers. I chose the End of Fashion song simply because it has mariachi trumpeting in it, and the Kate Nash song for its honest songwriting and pop piano. Plus she is kinda cute. All that aside it's not hard to dismiss her as a Lilly Allen clone, but her debut record in spit of its uneven finish does hint at some potential to differentiate herself from that perception, only time will tell.

Funny thing is that the Bond theme song actually did make it onto the list at number 87. It's not a bad song, such an odd combination seems to work quite well. To a degree it reflects the changes occurring within the rest of the Bond franchise, with the majority of its components being rearranged or swapped out for something new. Having said that, if you hear the Bourne theme in the next Bond film you know it'll be all over.

Awwww...

2009-01-24T12:30:00.002+11:00

I'm a sucker for happy elephant stories, 'tis all. Probably a result of watching too much Babar. Hey, an elephant! Awwww.....

Ma fille veut party toute le jour.

2009-01-23T22:45:00.002+11:00

Okay, so I lied about being over and done with all those holiday pics. These ones do lead somewhere though, so hang on there for a few seconds more.

This hastily taken photo was taken outside one of the hotels I was staying at. I think it's some sort of karaoke type place. Or the world's largest ball pit... actually that'd be kinda fun.

How many of you take the time to deface and then remove in flight material from aircraft? Well now you know one of them.

Why am I showing you all of these silly pictures? Why is the title in French? Am I being bought out by some French corporation? Look below to see what I acquired with the help of my sister the other day...

I am pleased to say I now own one a copy of one of the worst songs ever written. I'm not sure why I feel this way about bad music, but it all became clear when I heard the instrumental version on the B-side for the first time off the vinyl. Must... fight urge... to sing along....

On the other hand, if you really do feel like singing along here's the instrumental version on YouTube. It's a bit longer than the usual track but it'll do.

And why sing along without the lyrics? You'll end up looking like one of those smucks who compete on "Don't Forget The Lyrics" and have done just that.

Girl
I can't understand it why you want to hurt me
After all the things I've done for you.
I buy you champagne and roses and diamonds on your finger -
Diamonds on your finger -
Still you hang out all night
what am I to do?

My girl wants to party all the time

Party all the time
party all the time.
My girl wants to party all the time
party all the time.

She parties all the time - party all the time

She likes to party all the time - party all the time

party all the time - she likes to party all the time

party all the time.

Girl
I've seen you in clubs just hanging out and dancing.
You give your number to every man you see.
You never come home at night because you're out romancing.
I wish you bring some of your love home to me.

But my girl wants to party all the time
. . .
My girl wants to party all the time
. . .

Party
party
party she likes to party all the time.
She likes to party all the time -
She lets her hair down
she lets her body down:
She lets her body
she lets her body down.
Party all the time - do you wanna get any party
yeah.
Party all the time - party all the time.

That's all from me for now, join me next time when I talk about music that isn't PATT. That's right, we're too cool to refer to the song by its full name.

100 n.o.

2009-01-21T22:31:00.006+11:00

"Raises bat"

That's right, I've somehow made it to centurion status with this little publication. It's taken a short while but we've finally hit this milestone. What better way to celebrate than with a lengthy photo essay?

On my trip abroad we ended up taking a lot of photographs. Going snap happy isn't overly difficult these days, with digital storage space being as expansive as it is now. It was also a good opportunity to fiddle around with our new semi pro camera, pointing it everywhere we could just to see what tricks it could do. According to my computer we ended up taking over 900 photos, and naturally I could keep on posting and posting for each little moment that occurred, but I don't wish to string you guys along for too long. I've chosen a collection of moments I consider worthy, I hope you enjoy them.

This was taken on Lantau Island near the cable car leading up to the giant Buddha. I can't say there's an awful lot to see there since the entire cable car thing is a ploy by the MTR company to attract visitors. There's even a fake Chinese village at the end of the line dressed up like the old olden days where you can buy souvenirs presumably just like they used to hundreds of years ago.

I chose this photograph because I spent a good 30 minutes with my dad here waiting for the rest of my family to find a toilet. There's something about the elderly that requires some of them to report to a urinal every couple of hours, and when several of them congregate at once there is no escape.

Here we have two fine specimens of the ancient and noble order of the Starbuck, a mystic organisation devoted to serving you every possible combination of coffee imaginable, no matter how diabetes inducing or caffeine shake effecting it is.

Here's a nice night shot my sister took of the new fancy casino in Macau. It looks ridiculous during the day but at night it has a strange degree of fascination that attracts the eye. For a town driven completely by gambling, it really is a nice place to visit. I wasn't there long enough to find the seedy underbelly that runs the place but my inner Gamblor felt right at home.

Food in general is fairly cheap in these parts of the world, but being in a casino as part of a captive audience tends to inflate prices somewhat. The silver lining of sorts is that the prices becomes about the same as food would cost back home so you feel slightly not so bad about it... well self delusion was worth a shot.

Need a clinic run by a complete professional? Apparently there's now one run by yours truly in the middle of Hong Kong. Just quietly I didn't know I had my practitioner's license. You learn something about yourself every day, eh?

Here's a place I haven't been in a while. They really shrink buildings down with some sort of magical ray when you grow up, don't they? Being there was really great and weird at once, but being there again after all those years makes me wonder how they fit so many of us in this little school. They did build an extension while I was away which is now home to two sessions of students from all sorts of different cultures. It offers a place to those who do not fit the traditional Hong Kong background such as myself, where culture or language barriers prevent us from fitting into a regular Chinese school.

I visited my old school with an old friend of mine from my old life. It was pure coincidence that we both happened to be visiting Hong Kong during the same week, let alone the same year. Not all of us former Hong Kongers have the chance to head back every year, and indeed not all of us have good reasons or desire to. Being back on old ground means a lot more when there's someone else to experience it with.

I took the next pic at the Tsim Sha Tsui waterfront. It's a countdown clock letting you know how soon the looming 2009 East Asia Games are. Can't you just feel the excitement building up?

I like to think if I were pretending to be a professional photographer, I would come up with shots like this all the time. These guys must really love Buddha, there are exactly 1000 statues of different sizes on site. That does sound pretty impressive but they cheat by having a lot of tiny ones in the room underneath the giant Buddha.

If you could win people at the fairground, I guess they would come in giant human sized enclosures like this. The clamp would really hurt though.

In Hong Kong, missing the train is no big deal. You simply wait 3 to 4 minutes for the next one. It's quick, reliable and most importantly nothing like the public transport system here. No bullshit about the tracks being too hot or there not being enough trains to service everyone, things just work there. Oh, and they have a smartcard system that doesn't take forever to implement.

Seeing this anti-drugs ad while on the train somehow made me think of that Jennifer Garner movie "Suddenly 30", but with a different set of numbers.

(Scene: young Chad, a surly teenager with a lust for sloth visits his grandfather in the nursing home and observes all the equipment keeping him alive.)

"Aww man! Look at all that neat stuff! I wish I could have a machine eat, breathe and extract my waste for me!"

(Chad then goes home to his closet and breaks out the jar of fairy dust that's been sitting on his doll house. Chad's a confused, lazy kind of sloth who will grow up to become the lead singer of Nickelback but of course he's skipping it all, thank Christ for that. He proceeds to sprinkle a liberal amount of fairy dust on himself.)

(Chad awakens 53 years later in the closet, only to stumble out and fall down the stairs and dislocating his hip in the process. He later finds out all his friends are dead and he can't afford all those nice things his grandfather had and has kidney failure from his days as a propagator of bad stoner rock music. On his way back to the house to gather the fairy dust to return him to his adolescent state, he is attacked by a mob of former PoWs who were tortured by the US government with the use of his music and the theme to Sesame Street, which he also somehow wrote before he was even conceived.)

Ok, so it starts out like a screwball comedy but ends up like a tragic drama. You might think that this is the worst script idea ever and that it'd never work but then they did make Hancock. I just need Will Smith to play Chad.

And this brings us to the end of this long winded journey, definitely worthy of the 100 post milestone. Thanks to everyone who even bothers visiting this site every now and then, I look forward to writing the next 100 posts.

Join me next time when I buy a new record!

I Want It That Way (But Not In That Way)

2009-01-12T02:00:00.003+11:00

Facebook isn't just for stalking people and reading ads that prey on your status as a single male; it's also good for an all in chorus line, boy band style.

For Those Who Can't Afford Real Games

2009-01-06T20:40:00.002+11:00

Have so much free time during these long holidays that you would like to be frustrated by crazy flash games? Then try "Gravity Master", a game with one sole goal "to collect all rotating circles with the black ball. You can move the ball by drawing shapes with mouse. Doubleclick on your shape to destroy it." Sounds easy but is anything but.

Solutions can be found on YouTube. They didn't say so but I assumed the assumption that there must be someone with even less to do than someone frustrated by crazy flash games who records on screen footage of the solutions and posting it online. On the upside if you complete the game you unlock a level editor that is pretty fun to mess around with. I'm currently trying to create some sort of pinball type scenario. I really don't have anything else to do...

27 Stolen Hotel Bathrobes Later...

2009-01-03T02:45:00.004+11:00

The best part about going overseas is living in hotels where you never have to clean up after yourself, as they always end up fumigating the room the moment you hand your keys in at the front desk. Anything you weren't allowed to do at home is fair game, from eating in bed to operating your own meth lab using the contents of the complementary bathroom products and the minibar.

In Hong Kong we had the luxury of staying with family, which is almost like staying at a hotel except for the fact that soup and fruit are served immediately after each hearty meal. As a result I am now allergic to fruit and Chinese style soups. The first hotel we stayed in was The Venetian in Macau, a massive complex built on the opposite side of town away from the main casino district. In a town like Macau you need a gimmick to attract visitors - the end result may still be the same but each casino comes in different packaging. Some have bright lights, some are shaped like stuff, and The Venetian shifted a city block of Venice to your hotel doorstep.

The real Macau as seen from the old fort.

A lot of detail has gone into this recreation. The style of building, the canals and the gondoliers are all there waiting for you under a perpetual blue sky. The ceiling isn't bewitched as described in "Hogwarts: A History" but if you look close enough you can see the smoke detectors. Suppressing my inner architect took a bit of doing, the strange reproduction of the streetscape follows details closely but of course lacks the authenticity of a city that is far older than this. But as I said before, all this stuff is just to get your sad sorry arses through the door - after all, you're all here to 'win' money. I am proud to say that as a family unit we actually managed to make 400.25HKD on the pokies using just the complementary credit generously provided by the casino. Is this to become our new family bonding experience? Time will tell.

The following collage tells the story of our odyssey from the entrance of the casino to our room. One thing we noticed during our stay is that getting from Point A to Point B is never as easy as you might think. Even the most direct points consisted of us walking through long winding corridors built to resemble a maze, and don't think that getting back to the lobby of the hotel tower is the end of that chapter. Unfortunately for us our rooms were at the far end of the floor, and when each floor is shaped like a very large letter 'C' you can begin to imagine what the scenery will be like. It's like being stuck in that hotel from "The Shining" - just add blood. My only real complaint is that the place doesn't seem to be fully staffed, as it took them an extra three hours for them to get our rooms ready for check in. These problems may be ironed out in time but it may deter me from going back there again.

After heading back to Hong Kong for a day to rest and repack we were off to Taiwan for five days. I covered a lot of what we saw there but the hotels we stayed in are worth mentioning (to me) just because they steadily got weirder and weirder as the tour progressed. The general idea behind these moderately priced tours is that your accommodation starts off being fairly cheap then gets more and more impressive near the end. This first place in Kaohsiung was pretty basic but it had plumbing fixtures that were seemingly installed just for me. Ever seen an elephant faucet?

The odd part is that this tap wasn't installed in our parents' room. I'd take it home if not for the mess it'd cause.

The next place was this Japanese styled hotel in the peaks of Taiwan that was superior to the first hotel in every aspect save the smell and the lack of internet access. We suspected that sewage wasn't as accessible up in the mountains so sceptic tanks were probably to blame. The main point of interest again lies in the bathroom with this cool wall mounted shower with jets to cover any body cavity you need cleaned out. Hmm that didn't come out right did it? The funny thing with this one is that the room was so small that using the shower usually meant that half the room (including the toilet) would be covered in water by the end, so it was a pretty good idea to place your clothes far far away.

This next place marked our move into the northern cities, hence the larger rooms. This was probably the most normal place we stayed in for the duration of our trip. One word of advice if you're planning on sharing accommodation with others. When you enter a hotel room for the first time, scan it quickly and calculate the proximity between each bed and the TV set, then proceed with the rules of 'Shotgun' as set by the global Shotgun rules committee. This way you can avoid fighting over beds later on, though if you choose to operate separate rules for the control of the remote beware as you may end up watching one of the numerous Televangelist style Buddhist monk channels on the hotel cable.

This last room was probably the weirdest of all due to its bathroom to bedroom window, a treatment I came to refer to as the 'Deli Bathroom' style. There is a roller shutter you can pull down to conceal tricks but I still think it's a mental idea. The other crazy thing in this room was the presence of one of those crazy Japanese toilets that spray your behind with jets of water. All the instructions were in Japanese so I had to deduce what everything meant. Fortunately half of the language is Chinese anyway so I could guess most of what was going on, preventing any unfortunate toilet based mishaps. The best part was figuring out which button catered for which gender. Rear window entry was easy enough to decipher by looking at a simplified diagram of one's behind. However the jet reserved for the opposite sex was not symbolised by what you think it was, you sick bastard.

Join me next time when I dig up a few more holiday pictures for you to fall asleep to, just like when the distant relative you never liked brings around his/her holiday snaps and forces you to sit through each photograph in agonising detail. Before long you're attempting to end it by cutting yourself with the edges of the photos, and then you realise you're watching a digital slideshow. Just one of the many downsides of the modern age.

Subholiday to Taiwan

2008-12-30T01:50:00.003+11:00

Let it be known throughout the land for all to hear: I never want to hear Wham's "Last Christmas" ever again. This may seem like a perfectly normal thing to wish for, but this is especially true when each and every department store you walk through is playing its very own version of said song, each cover more flimsily assembled than the last. This happens to be part of how I spent my time away in Hong Kong these holidays and just so happens that this is particularly difficult to convey in my usual photo plus text format. I just wish I had recorded it, like I did when I went to see the sun rise at five in the freaking morning in Taiwan.

Ooh, lens flare! Or is that just dust?

There's nothing better to break the monotony/peaceful calm of a sunrise by informing the visitors about the many goods on sale over a megaphone. This bizzare treatment of tourists must be some sort of tradition amongst the Taiwanese. In a completely isolated incident our tour group was hoarded into one of those tourist traps where they take you to a shop and sit you in front of this man who claims that eating ground up pearl powder can cure any ailment, or consuming deer foetus soup gives you the ability to fly, or counting the number of strokes in your name can mean the difference between life and death.

I wasn't kidding about the deer foetus.

Unfortunately for us, we fell for the last one. Well kind of. This place specialised in selling jade products to ward off bad spirits or draw them in, I can't remember which. The nice man took our names and applied his numerology magic to them and concluded that mum needed some good luck by exchanging money for a little piece of jade. At this point in order to welcome in the good spirits he starts shouting some incantation real loud and clapping his hands to the point where the other shop staff joined in. This led to the rest of our tour group (previously unaware of our transaction), doing what you would normally do in such crowd mentality situations and join in the applause. This was easily the most embarassing yet wonderful experience I took from Taiwan, one I shall hopefully cherish forever.

Taipei 101, temporarily the world's tallest building and home to the most ridiculously upmarket and unaffordable shopping strip I have ever seen.

I wish I had time to talk about all the crazy things I saw, like the septic collection truck that plays "Fur Elise". Kids are really into some weird stuff over there. But then I would have to go on and on and on... I wish I wrote all this stuff as I was on the road...

Richard Marsland R.I.P.

2008-12-07T03:14:00.007+11:00

I was saddened to read that 'Get This' collaborator Richard Marsland passed away Saturday night. Details are fairly vague at this point from where I am, but either way it is a huge loss for Australian comedy and radio. Obituaries aren't exactly my speciality, but his work was certainly worth looking out for in the bits he wrote for Rove and Newstopia, he certainly had a very bright future ahead of him.

One of his many contributions to 'Get This' was his Warrick Capper sketches which is conveniently on YouTube for us to reminisce upon. You will be missed.

It's Too Laaate!! Arrgh

2008-12-03T18:00:00.003+11:00

Chances are a fair few of you have seen this in my list of possessions before. You know, the bag that starts many a jingle and brings joy to many if not all mankind. That's right ladies and gents, its the bag known as Timberland. Give it up y'all!

However, nowhere as many have witnessed this other bag in my collection of goodie holders.

I think the joke writes itself at this point. The funny thing is that I've had this bag for about three months yet never really made the connection, must've been because I've been so busy humming the bass line to "The Way I Are". Having said that, my two bags will be embarking on a national tour but are only really capable of performing one song. The good news is that there are several hundred remixes to "Apologise" so it'll still be a four hour long concert.

And on that dour note it's time for me to sign off for the time being. I'm about to fly off to visit friends, relatives and sights back in Hong Kong for the next few weeks so posting might be a little light. I've been informed my grandparents' apartment has wireless internet access so posting might be a little more frequent. Why they have net access is beyond me, maybe my uncle managed to hack into the neighbours' wireless or something. Regardless it'll be good to catch up with old friends, it really seems like another lifetime ago. Getting into contact with a couple of my friends has become easier in recent years, a nice benefit of being part of the Facebook generation which mostly offsets all the annoying parts about being part of the Facebook generation, such as its tendency to constantly recommend dating sites whenever I try to leave a note on the wall of a female friend.

Just Being Bhaji

2008-12-03T17:15:00.002+11:00

Okay, first things first. Does this look anything like me? Cos apparently he doesn't even know either.

At the very least he kind of looks more in proportion than my Wii avatar.

I've been listening to a lot of old music as of late, I'm not completely sure why but it must be partially due to the fact I've been listening to that cursed golden oldies channel on the radio. It doesn't help when the late night talkback guy on the Ms berates anyone who has a slightly dissimilar opinion to his own. Fortunately he's been fired so I won't have to complain about him any longer. Anywho, for some odd reason I feel the need to rip on the latest edition of 'Pop Hits 2008' as my ears are still bleeding after all these months.

All Summer Long, Kid Rock
Bastardising one song is usually more than enough depending on the vintage and pedigree of the song pillaged. For example Vanilla Ice ruining "Under Pressure" is one I don't appreciate. Ruining two perfectly fine songs in the one outing is even worse - "Werewolves of London" and "Sweet Home Alabama" are respectable songs that in all probability were not looking to get hitched up any time soon but no they just had to go ahead with it. I suppose it's not so bad for your average midteener who has no knowledge of any music or culture before 1998, but I am not as lucky as they are.

See You Again, Miley Cyrus
The most telling contribution to music and society in general is a cricketing song based on this odd piece of music. Writing credits should go to Marcus and myself but mostly Marcus as I recall being really tired at the time. Writing lyrics after midnight at the Pancake Parlour will do that to you. The idea for it comes from the process in which my sister and I named one of our pop eyed goldfish Bhaji, after Harbajan Singh when we misheard the chants of the Indian supporters as 'Hodgey'. At the time I thought there was no way he was that popular. For a while we explained any bizarre goldfish behaviour as someone 'just being Bhaji'. And with Bhaji constantly getting into trouble for random things like slapping Sreesanth and opening his mouth at inappropriate moments, we should really write another verse next time the Indians tour.

Bowl You Again, Yong/Chiu/Cyrus/Aramato/James

The last time I freaked out
I just bowled Symonds out
I hope he doesn't punch me out
Clark said I was on speed
Lee asked what's wrong with me
My best friend Sachin said
"He's just being Bhaji"
When Ponting comes around
I'll make more monkey sounds
My mouth won't rest til then
I can't wait to bowl you again

It's the feel good hit of last summer. Look out Hall and Oates, here comes a new hit factory!

Don't Want To Go To Bed, Gabriella Cilmi
All I want to say about this song is that in case of emergency, in this case running out of words in the dictionary, just use the word 'good' as many times as required until the song is over.

I'm Yours, Jason Mraz
I'm only complaining about this song because they use it on those adverts for "Packed to the Rafters", the show which millions of people tune in each week under the assumption that Pat Rafter will be making an appearance. Perhaps giving the show a more urban edge and renaming it "Pat to the Rafters" would give it more appeal to the overseas markets. But of course understanding that would require prior knowledge of this song. As the chorus goes:

H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A
Fo' shizzle my nizzle used to dribble down in VA
H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A
That's the anthem get'cha damn hands up
H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A
Not guilty ya'll got-ta feel me
H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A
That's the anthem get'cha damn hands UP!

Huh? Sounds like something Mark Holden would say.

Buy Now and Get Another 3000 CDs At No Extra Cost!

2008-12-01T01:44:00.003+11:00

This blog post is brought to you today by the Time Life "80s Music Explosion" compilation starring Belinda Carlisle and that other guy in a suit. If you missed it catch it late weeknights on Ten. Or if the new free to air alliance Freeview is to be believed, on every single one of the 15 channels available to us in the new year. Imagine that, 15 channels of wall to wall late night home shopping on the television. Perhaps I will buy that steam cleaner I've never wanted.

I only mention this because I found myself watching the promotional infomercial in question and for some odd perverse reason found myself enjoying those 80s hits cascading across my screen. I would chalk this one up to the time of day and my perhaps mentally incapacitated state at said time, but it can't be all that - there must be something horribly wrong with me... I'm not sure what the cure for taste in bad 80s music is, it might lead to Clockwork Orange style reprogramming sessions where I end up in spasms every time I hear "Like To Get To Know You Well" by Howard Jones. Oh hold on, I already do that. Curse this medication.

Perhaps the most disturbing part of becoming accustomed to a dodgy late night television advertorial is the fact that I visited the Time Life website as part of a follow up for this post. Frankly I shouldn't be surprised that such a site exists as this will give them the opportunity to bombard me with out of copyright material both online and on TV. Even more disturbingly there are six ratings for this product, meaning at least six people have no knowledge of the internet and how to acquire music from it.

Oh and before I leave you with that nice thought, it has come to my attention that people have been pancaking without my presence. I imagine this is how it feels to be cheated on, so is this the time where I act like a jilted lover and play "(I Just) Died in your Arms" by Cutting Crew while sobbing over the onion soup I'm preparing? Hey, that's conveniently on that Time Life 80s compilation! I'd make an insensitive Brett Lee comment but I'm paranoid that he'll track me down in his giant bouncing ball and pound me to death on the pavement.

The Neverending Semester, Part II

2008-11-28T21:10:00.001+11:00

Previously on 'Say Something':

Steve is out of action fighting a mystery illness. He suspects big-game nerves have got the better of him and eats more of Nicola’s lasagne hoping it might settle his stomach. However, the lasagne is the culprit and part of Nicola’s crazy idea to secure her place in Miranda’s life. Will Nicola’s drastic plan put Steve's life in danger?

... actually that zany plot is from Neighbours, the longest running medical action comedy in Australian history. With plots like those it seems almost as formulaic as an episode of House. I'm sure this kind of stuff happens to real people all the time though.

In relative seriousness, here's the other result of my ridiculously long semester. The subject is called Digital Design Applications and teaches different methods in which architectural form can be created with the assistance of algorithms. This has the distinct advantage of being able to execute complex repetitive modules as many times as you need it to, saving on both time and effort.

After a lot of tinkering and procrastinating during the first half of semester I settled on the exploration of boundary creation through the use of sinusoidal spirals. These 'spirals' change shape as the value of the n constant increases and transforms from parabolic curves to circles and infinitely complex loops as seen below.

The next step was to compose an algorithm that was capable of generating this diverse range of shapes and turn it into something semi-meaningful. I seriously doubt you would want to read my script in fine detail but if you want your mind to be boggled beyond relief here it is. The code was written in RhinoScript - part of Rhino, a powerful 3D modelling program used in various industries including industrial and marine design.

Above are a couple of examples of what profiles can be generated with my script. At this point, what I need to do is select a range of n values that will generate a diverse number of shapes, as well smoothing out a couple of problems such as the points which as seen above, initially seem a bit random. This is due to the fewer number of points being plotted around the radius which leads to essential points being skipped. Eventually after a long round of fine tuning I was ready to turn this in at the new laser cutter in the Archi building. Expensive model making toys are nice to have, that's all I'll say.

The laser cutter can create some really detailed pieces of work and can cut to different depths so that it can do both cuts and etches. The above shows each frame of my structure and the detail within each one.

Initially I attempted to string everything up according to how it would actually be set up. This did not go too well because it was extremely difficult to string up each frame to a level of tautness that was sufficient to look authentic. Extra slack in the supporting strings would also lead to inaccuracy in the overall structure, making things more difficult when stringing between each frame.

Here's a shot of my model mid construction. You can really get a feel of how big it is by looking at the objects around it.

Nearing the end of our photo journey I began to document what the model would look like from the ground level. At this stage I changed the supporting material to perspex to further assist in the visualisation of the frames and threads.

And here it is in all its glory. This was taken at the end of year exhibition where among other things, every piece of work from our class was put on display for all to see. Check out the slideshow below to see what else the other guys created.

Fancy stuff, eh?

The Neverending Semester

2008-11-14T23:50:00.003+11:00

So much to do, so little time. Not unless that said amount of time stretches far past the semester's end and into swotvac of course, in which case you never really leave. A lot of final reviews for architecture are taken after the official end of semester but that is by no means to be taken as an extension of time. Instead, it becomes a period for extra work that stretches out for some time. Strangely I'm looking forward to sitting my one exam for the semester, a reaction to all this coursework I imagine.

My first subject was due during swotvac. I won't give an overly long explanation for it like in the past, partially because this project has been fairly drawn out and I'm sick of doing transport hubs (especially after last semester). For those who haven't seen me up at Union working on it all semester, the brief was for a redevelopment of Station Pier in Port Melbourne. I took on an environmental aspect in particular regard to the marine life in Port Phillip Bay and the regeneration of the habitat post dredging.

My proposal was to establish the pier as a base point to a network of underwater observation towers (it makes little sense until you see the video below) which act as a support to assist and monitor the recovery of the local marine wildlife. This has the added benefit of allowing further education of marine biodiversity of our local wildlife. Below is an a quick animation I did for the presentation, quick being defined as picking cameras and paths then waiting for the computer to render every frame from the hours of 10pm to 6 the following morning. With the help of architecture, sleep is an inefficiency I no longer need to kowtow to.

Another key idea was to reevaluate the norms we consider behind how we view aquatic life for educational and conservational purposes. For comparison I went to the Melbourne Aquarium and observed how captive species were displayed and housed. I found that the vast majority of exhibits to be overly confined, disallowing the creatures from truly being able to live comfortably. Of course that's an objective point of view, but you won't exactly get an answer out of them and everyone else will think you're unhinged talking to the fishes. So in my solution, the idea was to invert the aquarium and expand the part which works best, the main tank.

My design gives the fish as much space as they need, with minimal human interference. Creatures are lured to this artificial reef by populating the surroundings with concrete habitats with precast hollows for fish to hide. The extent of human observation is maximised by placing viewing pods and portals around gaps in the tower where fish can populate, bringing them as close to the spectator as possible. Tunnels run under the seabed to fishbowl style viewing domes placed at different parts of the reef to observe wildlife remote from the main hub.

The review went alright, with the main criticism being the underdevelopment of the link to the pier and the overly imaginative parts of the tower itself. Some of it depends on the crit panel you get, some like crazy and others not so much. Unfortunately I am cursed with a fairly vivid imagination, though I perhaps pushed the underlying ideals a bit further than was absolutely necessary. Anchoring back into a slight degree of reality might be handy next time.

Stay tuned for Part Two of my neverending semester soon enough, looks like I went into a bit too much detail again... There'll be more pretty pictures!

...Make it a Direct Hit

2008-11-04T21:54:00.001+11:00

The usual standard of business is often defined by the trail of destruction you leave behind. Seems safe to say I'm really really really busy then.

Today is a pretty bad day to feel my occasional obligation to blog, seeing as I still have a couple of handins and presentations to take care of, all while fighting some sort of superbug that's been taking my immune system out for a ride. I am currently generating enough snot to fill a year's quota of secret sauce at your favourite fast food outlet. Just imagine that for a second... now you know how awful I feel.

Hmm better stop procrastinating and get back to work. May as well leave you with something though - here's where I got the name of this fine publication from. Oh well, not so mysterious now I suppose. At least it's better than naming your blog after a Nickelback song. I'm sure they exist somewhere, blogs with names like "I Like Your Pants Around Your Feet", pure class.

We Are NOT Too Old For This Shit...

2008-10-16T23:42:00.001+11:00

Tonight on the platform after class, I had yet another encounter with one of those super religious Latter Day Churchers. Normally I wouldn't complain but this is the 3rd one I've spoken to in the last four years, and more worryingly the last two were only a few months apart. I must really be their type. I imagine it has to do with the fact that I try to stand clear of most other people on the platform making me easier to single out and harass. If I want to act like a loner, why not leave me be? Their particular version of Jesus can't possibly be that better than the others, can it? Perhaps this version offers eternal afterlife and an Xbox 360 to boot. No games included though, that's where they get you.

**********

The stations put a lot of good stuff up late, stuff people with 'mainstream' tastes tend to miss, such as 30 Rock, Boston Legal, Good Game and Newstopia. However, they also put on a lot of crap at this time too. If you can't get enough of Mariah Carey this moment they're showing Glitter, not to be confused with Holiday in Cambodia: The Gary Glitter Story. Seems like her life is so real it hurts, though if you're having a film made about your life why bother hiring someone to do it for you when you can do it yourself? I suppose that makes sense in theory, acting ability and expression notwithstanding.

Unfortunately I haven't been able to bombard your computer monitors with my imitable brand of crapping on as of late, there are far too many assignments due for uni and never enough time. Semester just seems to fly by quicker and quicker each year, must be that age thing going on again. Falling into routine never seemed so dangerous really. Before you know it several items are due at once and you wish you had a Time Vault combo to sort things out. I have been preparing in a strange kind of way though, I've been going to bed later so I become fully acclimatised once the all nighters kick in the next week or two. That's partially why I'm typing this at what is currently half past one in the morning. As long as I'm not conscripted into flying a plane for Qantas or assassinate the members of PCD, what could possibly go wrong?

**********

This semester I've taken to dedicating Thursdays working on my design projects up at Union House, aka Onion House to some. It really hurts that my studio that day is on at 6pm, and the fact I have no other classes that day drives the stake in just that little bit further. But I manage to make the most of it by doing my work in the company of friends who drop in and out over the course of the day. On days like these I spend practically the entire day in Union, planting my arse on my seat of choice right next to the power socket. That's right, I have a favourite power point. Its' name is Howard.

How very profoundly saddening.

Okay, so I made that bit up but the change of location away from the Home Building known as Archi is an invigorating one so to speak. I could easily spend the entire day in the Archi labs and indeed I have gone through long stretches cooped up hammering out a project without distractions. But in that case I wouldn't be able to have 'Party All The Time' YouTube parties or scar myself for life by watching that cursed Marky Mark video. I wouldn't be able to speculate on what kind of pornographic material could be stored on the old school HDDs totalling a whopping 5MB of memory. (The answer according to X is ASCII porn. Hilariously stupid, yet strangely sensical.) So although I may seem to be there all day long (cos I am) sitting there at my laptop until I lose all feeling in my legs and arse working on some neverending project, it seems worth it.

**********

Speaking of cryptic titles, Mel Gibson reportedly turned down an opportunity to star in Lethal Weapon 5. After fighting apartheid South Africans and Chinese triads, would the next logical step be to fight overzealous drunken folk with an irrational grudge against Jewish people? Oh wait, never mind.

My Current Favourite Prime Number

2008-09-30T01:55:00.000+10:00

Before I begin my endless ranting for today, I just want to give a special thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday today. It means a lot that people care enough to take some time out to wish you well. A special shout out to my evil 'twin' Brad, sharing birthdays with Pompey, Nelson and MacGyver can't be all that bad. However the rest of you can go and get... yourself some ice cream, as you should use any excuse to have some. Smooth, eh?

Another year, another round of discovering new ways to waste an afternoon. Unfortunately this year I spent it catching up on assignments I should've been doing during the first week of midsems, but the way I see it there's no real point doing things early as the motivation just isn't there. Personally I blame card games for this... waiting until the last possible moment to play your hand doesn't always translate into real life.

The other day I was combing my fingers through my hair, (as I refuse to pay the bigwigs in the comb industry) when I noticed something kind of disturbing in the undergrowth. A speck of colour, something existing in stark contrast with the world around it. A rogue element that must be destroyed.

Yes, a white hair.

I guess it's still one hair in a million but it did really spook me out for a second or two. And for some reason it triggered a miniature quarter life crisis fuelled by some sort of question of my mortality. The first thing that came to mind was The Seven Signs of Aging by none other than the Ponds Institute. However, the actual seven signs are quite boring and are mostly related to skin quality. I have endevoured to create a replacement set of signs that cannot be masked by thirty-seven tonnes of makeup. Enjoy.

Are you dead? (If 'yes', please proceed to Question 7)
As the legal definition of the term 'alive' comes under attack by the morbidly obese, freshly defrosted icemen (thanks, global warming!) and the undead Zombie Gardeners of Ivanhoe, this question will become more and more difficult to answer.
Have you still as active as you were five years ago?
Unfortunately that answer is a resounding 'no', damnit a couple of months ago I managed to strain my hamstring getting out of bed... in the region I prefer to refer to as the 'Shane Watsons'. Epic Fail. Too bad telling a doctor you pulled your Shane Watson sounds kinda weird and wrong.
Are you currently a client of the Shane Warne 'Yeah Yeah' Corporation?
Not just yet, but I have attempted to use a waffle iron to get rid of my singleton white hair. The problem still persists, but on the upside I now smell like maple syrup and rhubarb. Lovely.
Do you refer to phrases used by the generation below you to stay cool and 'with it'?
That mostly depends on whether netspeak is an invention of our generation or theirs. I have noticed that using the Mark Holden method of using old sporting phrases to create random punchlines seems to transcend generations, with Kyle Sandilands hijacking the catchcry for his own nefarious purposes. I hereby propose we use the 'free kick' signal used in the AFL to signify really bad moves on behalf of the greater populace.
Do you resent the spoiled youths of today and their rowdy rebellious ways which could easily be solved by a good caning?
Hmm not sure about this one. I remember being in high school and wondering out loud how the Year 7s could somehow manage to get progressively dumber and dumber with each passing year though. Must be something in the water, or else someone's been drinking that tainted Chinese baby milk powder for longer than they might think.
Are you a member of the Catholic Church clergy?
Last time I checked, the next in line to the Pope isn't exactly a spring chicken. Career advancement is a plotted in fairly linear single minded one really - Step One: Wait for current pope to depart, Step Two: Rig ballot and become Pope. The only other waiting line comparable in length is possibly membership to the Melbourne Cricket Club.
Are you Eddie Murphy's recording career?
Well that's hardly fair! If 'Party All The Time' can get airplay at my neighbour's daughter's 18th birthday, I would like to think that Murphy can party any time he wants. Just keep him away from anything remotely female.

If you managed to answer all those questions without spontaneously combusting, congratulations. You are in no imminent danger of being old or growing old any time soon. Unless you happen to be watching that awful sitcom starring Jenna Elfman on Ten after Letterman on Tuesdays. That show will turn you putrid overnight.

Until next time, I'll leave you with the song that's been in my head for best part of the night. No, it's not 'Party All The Time', I'll save that for some other time. It's a track by End of Fashion, a band from Perth with 'Fussy'. The video itself is taken from the viewpoint of one person in a very sticky situation. The accompanying single 'Kamikaze' takes the same situation but from the perspective of the other person. Very weird stuff, but strangely watchable.

With an intro like that, I could host my very own radio show.

He Could've Won It, but...

2008-09-22T19:27:00.002+10:00

It's really odd and scary to think that the semester's more than two-thirds of the way through. Complete blink of the eye stuff really, but I guess you don't really notice these things when you forgo sleep in favour of energy drinks and time consuming assignments. Actually that lemon V isn't too bad compared to the other fowl tasting concoctions running around right now. I haven't tried the former incarnation of that 'Mother' drink but if a bunch of food scientists had to sacrifice their lives for it, I'm sure most of it is floating around in the bay somewhere energising the water life.

And that brings me conveniently to my design assignment. Segue for the win! We've been through so much of the semester and we've only now just finished our conceptual propositions. This leaves us with about six weeks to come up with a fully realised design, including this midsem break. Slightly worrying in some ways, kinda exciting in others.

On the day of presentation, I was up at Union House for practically the entire day working on my layout. I usually do stuff like this in the labs, but I didn't want to be cooped up away in the labs all day long and I could use the odd distraction instead of going quietly mad in the corner. Even then, time never seems to be long enough to finish anything to complete satisfaction. I began that day at half past eight and finished it at quarter to five, constantly fiddling away at little things here and there - a lot of things need to be taken care of when you're printing something at A1. (I shouldn't know that it's 841 x 594...)

I then buggered off to get it printed but some bright spark had the wisdom to send a massive image file through the default Windows photo and fax viewer. That's apparently very bad news if you happen to be a print server and more often than not end up dying a painful and inconvenient death. This left me with the option of marching down the road to the nearest printers where they charge $25 instead of $10 to $15 at uni. That's some good eating or drinking money there, you know.

Friday is my slacker/stoner day where I do as little as humanly possible. I have one hour of lectures at noon and that's about it; for the rest of the day I lounge around Union House playing cards and talking about awful pop music. However, I did have to attend one of those short essay writing seminars for a short while. In general, I'm pretty confident in my writing skills but it never hurts to remind yourself of what you should be aiming for. One of the tips that was given to us was to avoid using shorthand ala the sublanguage known as netspeak. This got Ken, X and myself into a nice little discussion of how the Battle of Stalingrad might have been expressed by the young historians of today. The thought of Hitler being pwned or warhaxed by the Russians in combat becomes very interesting reading. "I'm in ur base, stealing ur oil" is fun to imagine, now all I need is an image from 'Cats That Look Like Hitler' to complete it all. Go ahead, click on it. Why would I lie about something like this?

And now for your authentic up to date source of last week's news... 'He bowled a wide', according to The Age. Someday I'll look at this post years from now and wonder what the hell I was on about, but I suspect I'll have a similar feeling with everything else I write here...

See you next time when I might find time to bitch about that Kid Rock song. It practically writes itself, you know...

In Brief

2008-09-01T09:47:00.001+10:00

From my blog reading list a couple of weeks back:

Ah, the opportunities provided by merely winning a gold medal or two. Underwear deals, TV appearances and a personally branded range of ICBMs. Eamon's really worse off for breaking up with her, going out with an international warmonger has its perks.

**********

And now to offload my latest round of silly photos. Our first stop comes from the home of Japanese cuisine in Melbourne - Chinatown. That's right, even all Asian food tastes the same.

Ginza is a very odd kind of place. Sure, they serve food right in front of you on a giant metal griddle. Sure, there's a lot of showmanship and skill in the way they cook and serve food. I'm not sure if they had to throw it at us though. We all managed to catch it rather well, though this poor guy at the party next to us had a whole lot of rice on the floor around him. Maybe he really hates fried rice.

**********

From Say Something...

You generally notice big changes in a public space, especially those involving giant hot air balloons under the Melbourne Central cone. Typical drunken balloonist behaviour, never looking where they're headed.

Placeholders: The Movie

2008-08-29T00:57:00.001+10:00

While I sit here and do the opposite of homework and assignments, here is a video from one of my favourite sketch shows right now - 'That Mitchell and Webb Look', which finished its run on ABC1 tonight. The premise involves a pair of lazy screenwriters who can't be bothered researching their subject matter and decide to write a sports movie about cricket.

Quotes from this sketch compile just one of the many random catchphrases we use at uni right now. Mystifyingly the previous week has seen us chant the jingle from Wolter's "Steel and Mesh" radio advert, as well as the jingle from the Blind Factory. But of course, nothing really beats the joy of impersonating the stoners from the Pancake Parlour. Mmm... the rhubarb...

But seriously, any organisation that chooses to represent itself via drug addled personalities are alright with me. There's even a pair of Facebook groups dedicated to them. One group happens to love them and the other predictibly doesn't care too much for them. Unfortunately for us radio stoner fans, the hate group currently outnumbers the love group by about 40 or so members. So support a stoner today by joining a stoner appreciation society.

**********

On that note, one more blind rant before I disappear into the night. Why would anyone think that a movie about Facebook would be a good idea? The story of how Mark Zuckerberg founded a new way to waste our waking hours with requests to buy and sell your best friends into slavery, divide us into warring factions of pirates and ninjas (seriously ninjas would win hands down, you would never see or hear them coming, plus pirates smell and don't all look like Johnny Depp. Just a heads up there, girls.) or bombard you with random conversations between people you don't care about on your wall. I can see where this market would lie.

Facebook: The Movie sounds as ridiculous as past rumours about some studio picking up the rights to option Hasbro's IP for potential projects such as Monopoly: The Movie... a high rolling story about one mustashioed man and his quest to rule The Boardwalk and all the "Get Out Of Jail Free" cards. They'd still have to explain how a rounding middle aged man in a top hat could win a beauty contest. Having said that, I wouldn't mind seeing the life and times of those Hungry Hungry Hippos. Is their insatiable appetite born out of an eating disorder derived from low self esteem and a means of escaping from reality? It would really suit Russell Crowe in his pursuit of another Oscar, that's for sure.

Or even worse, Hasbro currently owns Wizards of the Coast which can only mean one thing... Magic: The Gathering: The Movie?

Guess That Broken Card!

2008-08-13T01:25:00.001+10:00

From an exchange over MSN the other night, a game with endless replay value and destined to be fun for all the family:

X: # Vintage tournaments (see Rule 801) have restricted this card since 1999/04/01.
# Legacy tournaments (see Rule 802) have banned this card since 1999/04/01.
# Extended tournaments (see Rule 803) have banned this card since 1999/07/01.
# Standard (Type 2) tournaments (see Rule 804) have banned this card since 1999/04/01.
# Urza Block Constructed tournaments (see Rule 806.6) have banned this card si
X: since 1999/04/01.
Me: lol the obvious candidates r gone
X: orly?
Me: one must've slipped my mind lol
X: common
Me: i know it's full of brokenness
X: its easy!!!!
Me: lol... will?
X: uh
X: no
Me: not yawgmoth's will? hmmm...
X: nope
Me: haha monolith?
X: nope
Me: key?
X: nope
Me: am i even in the right zone?
X: not at all
X: do you want a hint?
X: its a sorcery
Me: hmm
X: it has some moons in the picture
X: and lightning
X: at least i think its lightning
Me: lol
Me: damn i was gonna go for windfall
X: lol
Me: begin again...
X: thats broken
Me: it's all broken
Me: it's saga
X: you get 1 point
X: cause its pretty broken too
Me: hehehe
X: but common
X: theres 1 more sorcery
X: the one that rules them all
Me: tinker?
X: nah
X: another point
Me: lol
X: for another broken card
Me: getting there...
Me: time spiral?
X: correct!
Me: lol
X: here that sound?
X: its the sound of the game snapping in half

*SNAP*

In a completely unrelated incident, Rickrolling took another step to outstaying its welcome (if it hasn't already) when someone synced words from speeches by presidential hopeful Barack Obama with the now famous song. It does get tired real quick but it's kinda fun the first time you watch it.

Why is Ellen DeGeneres always dancing on that show of hers?

Before The Fall

2008-08-12T23:00:00.002+10:00

I have to say, it's pretty satisfying finally getting to read good press about your football team. In a petty stupid way it's an endorsement of your own beliefs, much in the same way talkback radio hosts berate their callers just for having a slightly different opinion, or how religious zealots keep insisting we non believers are all going to hell so that they feel better about their own conflicted existence. Okay, that may have been off topic somewhat but the feeling still stands. To an extent you could argue supporting a sporting team is a lot like choosing a religion - it feels pretty good for the most part but in the end it probably counts for very little. Collingwood supporters are certainly not the chosen ones, that's for sure. Heaven for one thing would certainly have more stringent dental and personal hygiene requirements, that's all I'm trying to say. Here endeth the lesson.

Regardless, all blasphemy aside this bout of press is quite fun to read and reread. While I certainly know how much maligned people see our chances in September and how we're just making up the numbers, this is all old hat material I have come to expect to read in the media. At least with this Monday's post mortem editorials the bigwigs Sheahan and Connelly have taken a small portion of their spiels to let everyone know that we're not as bad as we used to be, certainly better than last year at the very least. Though really everyone knows that at the end of September chances are one team of a felinesque moniker will hold that flag up high, no one really seems to mind as they go about preparing for their own finals campaigns. Having said that, I'm not sure how much finals experience we need to make more than two weeks of finals. Clearly the year before we were outclassed by sides more experienced at this kind of action. Hopefully we can go a bit further this time round.

In other football related news, I was watching Seven News for some reason and heard that Nathan Buckley's tips for the year to date totalled 101 or so. Well I am pleased to say I am tipping better than Nathan-freaking-Buckley right now on 109, so where's my personal football tipping segment on the evening news? Introducing Justin's tips for the round... "Who?"

Pancakes and Photographs

2008-08-10T21:00:00.001+10:00

Before I begin any sort of formalities, let me show you all another fine picture taken at the house of Stoners - the Pancake Parlour. I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate that too much, but they did produce those radio ads after all, so they had it coming. Marcus and I have yet to try out our radio stoner impressions on the staff over there, though I imagine they get that kind of thing all the time and would be forced to grin and pretend our tomfoolery was both witty, original and certainly not derivative at all.

Having said that, those ads certainly beat the alternative radio promos you sometimes hear. That one with the rapping really doesn't cut it for me... "Get some pancakes in your mouth! (In your mouth! In your mouth!)" rapped in a half arsed Vanilla Ice manner - so to speak it really gets my goat. I wonder what that really means.

**********

Well onto the main event now, the reason for this post to exist. Currently I have extended family visiting from the family base in Hong Kong - five people in all. This has unfortunately had the effect of forcing me out of my room to accommodate them merely due to the fact I happen to have a one and a half sized bed (the bed frame we brought with us from HK didn't have a standard size over here, in fact we had to get one custom made). As a result I have been repatriated downstairs to the study where this 'fine' publication is put together, with some messy results as seen here:

Yeah sleeping in the middle of the study really does cramp things up somewhat. Things are still messy as per usual, but instead now I sleep in the midst of all of my own mess. Since they have hijacked my bedroom, I have had to move most of my regular clothes downstairs which results in several small piles of clothes forming on spare chairs. So this is what it's like to live like a hermit in a room full of crap. I'm not that far from being like that guy who hoarded everything he came across until that fateful day where he died in a collapsed tunnel of his own junk somewhere in his apartment.

**********

On the upside, we got them to buy us a new DSLR camera over there. Things are generally cheaper over there and vary in legality from 'off the back of a truck' to Nintendo Vii style knockoffs. Either way you can't really complain unless it completely falls apart upon exposure to something like say, Oreos. A fairly obscure curse to be sure, but I am feeling a bit hungry right now.

Anywho, here's a shot taken by me while in the car. The thing with having nine people under the same roof is that feeding them becomes a bit of a problem. Jesus isn't here to provide us with pancakes or bacon (The Gospel according to Bacon - coming to a store near you!) so we often end up going out for dinner. And each time we end up going to a Chinese restaurant. Personally I don't really see the point... you jump on a plane and fly eight hours just to head to Chinatown. It reminds me of the Americatown thing on The Simpsons, though you could counter that argument by claiming there's not really that much local cuisine to try out besides fish & chips and shrimp on the barbie... curse you, Paul Hogan!

Once I figure out how all the settings work I'm sure I won't need to hide my incompetence behind fancy lighting effects and motion blurs. Join me next time when I fight the seven signs of aging with the help of my own homebrew face cream.

Mmmm, Got The Munchies...

2008-08-04T10:34:00.001+10:00

Stoners and wannabe stoners unite! 1am is the place to be for tasty treats and for practicing your worst Pancake Parlour stoner impressions. We won't be doing that new rap jingle on the radio though, it's got nothing on the originals.

Blog On The Run - Freeze To Meet You

2008-07-27T13:00:00.000+10:00

Apologies for the piss poor pun, but if Arnie can use it in that awful Batman movie, so can I.
So what's the best way to hit those winter blues for six? Drink lots of vodla? Take a cricket bat to a snowman? Use more CFCs in a can? No no no, simply go to an ice rink on a six degree morning. You'll soon feel that guy sleeping under the bridge has it pretty good.

The Spaces Between

2008-07-23T22:30:00.002+10:00

Well last semester's results are out, and after reading them I don't feel overly disappointed at all. I ended up with my marks safely landing in the H2A and B section of the university's mystifying grading system, so I feel a lot more comfortable posting this. It means I at least did half decently in this last assignment to make it worth sticking up here, I hope you like pictures.

This last project is for a train station on the Haymarket roundabout near the hospital on the Royal Parade side of the uni. This design was intended to act as part of the link between the North Melbourne lines and the Caufield line, similar to that proposed in the media in recent times. Most people who have been there will know what an nightmare that place is to get around and isn't exactly one of the city's bright spots. So besides the obvious requirements of providing space for passengers to board and alight, there was also the need to provide space for commuters to shop as well as the usual facilities and amenities.

I began my investigation by looking at the types of underground societies in current use. While searching for material for my Theories paper on biomimickry, I stumbled upon this image of a plaster cast of an ant farm.

Image found here.

They claimed that they managed to recall most of the ants to the surface, but really I'm not so certain. You can't really tell from this scale anyway. From time to time I referred to the man in the picture as the butcher, in a sense the Saddam of ants, but now I'm being silly. Back to the story.

From this image, you get a sense of what proportions and forms come from a nest of these tiny creatures. Collectively they build wandering tunnels that over time form small alcoves and in turn are further excavated into full sized chambers. Tunnels cross over and link up to form a vast network that can span thousands of square kilometres supporting a population in the hundreds of thousands. If nature can support such a grand society underground and out of sight, surely they must be doing something right.

A major part of an ant nest is the ventilation. The visible portion of the nest comes in different forms depending on the species, or at least that's how I understand it. Some nests may appear above ground in order to provide natural ventilation by means of solar exposure. The heat of the sun's rays provide a source of natural convection within the nest, drawing stuffy air from the depths of the nest and out into the open. In buildings, not nearly enough is made of natural means of cooling. Most office buildings are designed to operate on air conditioning throughout the entire year, ending up in hefty operating costs plus not to mention the health factors. Being a self contained environment leads to all sorts of microbes being trapped, often resulting in all sorts of medical maladies. A naturally ventilated stack would constantly draw fresh air into the building and reduce the need for artificial environmental controls.

My manifestation of this concept came in the form of using the flagpoles that currently occupy the site. Hollowed steel tubes run from deep inside the station to high above. The heat of the sun's rays create a current and circulate air throughout. Air intake is provided via subway entrances and smaller openings in the ground as somewhat explained in one of my presentation drawings below. There's an awful lot of detail in those drawings, which are printed at A1 size and is a major cause of poverty among architecture students. Help an architecture student today by pledging to one of my many legal charities today.

The other major component of my design is the path from the surface to the platform. Using the form of the ants' tunnels as inspiration, I devised a spiral ramp descending to the platform that links all the shops within the station together. The shop 'pod' is loosely based on the formation of new chambers in the nest. I only wished that I had thought of making each one slightly different in layout to reflect this. The expression of the path and pods are manifestations of positive and negative space, much in the same way the ant nest's innards have been exposed by filling it with plaster. Suspending it in midair changes the cavernous feel of the tunnels and transforms it into complete openness, exposing form.

Each subway entrance is situated at some point around the intersection, providing pedestrians access from one side of the the street to the other without having to brave the seemingly neverending traffic. Using the corridors does not require you to enter any ticketed area but descending any further down the ramp requires the public to use the turnstiles.

Originally I had been going for a far more open scheme where the top is more like a canyon where the components were to be suspended in midair, spiral and shops included. But I guess the minor issue of holding it all up finally caught up with me. Though having filled in the majority of the space above does create many more opportunities for playing with light. The platform ceiling is an abstraction of a cave, with the height constantly shifting depending on where you are. Openings in the ceiling are indicated by sloping in the surrounds to show the face of the wall give way to the entrances and lightwells above.

That concludes this somewhat truncated explanation of why I don't sleep anymore. I do have to say while I am pretty happy with the plans and sections I really got let down by the quality of the renders, it may have made the difference between an H2A and an H1 but in the end I'm just happy to have done well in the first place so maybe I should just stop complaining. This however would possibly defeat the purpose of half my posts here so for now I will keep it in moderation. Thanks for reading if you've come this far - and if you got confused by the architect talk don't be too dismayed, architects usually end up talking like this...

The Foodening

2008-07-12T00:30:00.000+10:00

For those unfamiliar with the term and this oddly recurring topic on this blog, please refer to the chart below. I love a good pie chart joke, in fact almost as much as my love of Venn diagram jokes. This probably means I should get out more and go find myself such a friend in need...

Image found here.

**********

In other news, at the risk of sounding incredibly out of character or indeed gender, the last few days have been extraordinarily bad for my health. No, I haven't taken up crystal meth (too expensive) or joined a parachute optional skydiving club (it messes with my hair), I've simply been eating more junky foods. (It's that easy?! How do I sign up?)

On the Thursday past I went to the Game On exhibition at Fed Square with Darren, Marcus and Ken. It's kind of like the history of console gaming, from the earliest version of Pong to Pokemon. A lot of the early games were really cool to see and play, including the text game version of Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy and this strangely addictive Dreamcast game involving a girl on a broomstick trying to dodge little rocks in her way. Street Fighter and six player Bomberman on a giant screen were great fun, but I failed to see the point of including Guitar Hero and Halo 3 since half the people attending will have played them before elsewhere. Unfortunately I wasn't allowed to take pictures, otherwise I would have found you an image of a promotional poster for that awful Super Mario Brothers movie.

Before that, we went to Nando's for lunch where my eating odyssey began. I suppose a light wrap was the best choice for me in the context of things, but things became interesting when we decided to mix the remainder of Marcus' Coke with some peri-peri powder. Darren, the master brewer took a taste and surprisingly didn't explode ala Mentos and Diet Coke. I take that to be a good sign.

Our next meal came after six when we made a dinner stop at Hungry Jack's (I know, at least Nando's pretends to be good for you). There I had some sort of bagette looking thing and it was there I remembered why I don't order those things: they're as thick as a brick wall and probably twice as solid. In fact I don't see why we don't send those things to developing nations as a food source and building material. Everybody wins! Here we also got into the topic of new reality game shows. My memory of this conversation is kinda hazy but at some point I suggested something along the lines of "Australia's Next Top Bogan" or "Australia's Got Hobos". The list really does go on.

The next fast food serving came the next day when my sister brought back Macca's for lunch. I would've ordered the McAfrica burger if not for the irony implied in such a meal. To add to the dangerously high irony levels, the McAmerica bagel that came the week before is a lot smaller and probably not suited to the North American palate. I mean, that hot dog eating champion would leave that joint one very dissatisfied customer. To be fair I haven't had the chance to try either one but I'm guessing the Africa would be somewhat larger even though I'm sure they hire dwarves to hold the burgers in those glamour shots to make the most out of the visual scale difference.

Then when you thought the foodening was all over, the next day we went over to Darren's place to play cards and ended up having pizza for dinner. We also had fried rice for lunch but that doesn't count as junk. No, you could never put fried rice into that category. Saying that must count as some sort of sacrilege I imagine. I'd attempt to resist more junk at home if not for the sack of 'deformed Boost bars' my sister brought back from a friend's place. Mutant chocolate should not be shunned people, they like all other chocolate should be allowed to fulfil its destiny, the purpose for which it was created. Who am I to argue?

Chompers

2008-07-01T23:08:00.003+10:00

Some families have special days out to places like the beach or the fairground, you know, something to do as a family unit that we will treasure forever and perhaps someday tell our kids, or someone else's, I'm not too fussed. But not my family. Our idea of a family outing (Not that kind of outing, though that would be interesting depending on what you accuse them of. My personal favourite is witchcraft - you can use the pyre for a good barbecue afterwards.) comes in the forms of trips to the dentist. I suppose it makes life a bit easier if we all just got our annual checkups over and done with in one shot, but it is really overkill to make it a family event of discomfort and potential pain. Coincidentally this is not unlike the experience of watching an episode of Gunther's ER on SBS or being forced to sit through four consecutive screenings of Two and a Half Men reruns that have accumulated on your hard disk recorder because your dad insists on watching it at a later date. Delete them already!

Okay, now to stop my whinging for now, for I have no real reason to. For my teeth are the best in the land as far as I'm concerned. Despite the obvious beatings I will endure after she reads this, the dentist did comment that I have much 'better teeth than my sister'. So I did the only thing a sensible person in my position could do - walk out of the room with the biggest grin on my face. I continued this pattern of stupidity for the rest of the day, winning arguments simply by flashing a grin. Must remind myself to buy a mouthguard for future encounters, lest I wake up in the middle of the night with a cricket bat in my mouth.

I firmly believe the secret to good dental health lies not just in regular brushing and rinsing habits, but being scared into the entire routine at an early age. I have vague memories of the mobile dentistry showcase coming to my primary school in Year Two like some sort of mobile torture roadshow here to make your afternoon miserable. Apart from that, you would have to factor in the competency, patience and sobriety of the dentist. Going through a hundred prep aged kids probably isn't the best way to relax, and at that age you really wonder if that drill could take out a good chunk of your cheek. Fortunately I have no such problems now as I breeze through checkup time and come out smiling as if it were a competition. As they say, winners are grinners. Or is it the other way round?

But of course karma, the great equaliser struck back when I was promptly crushed by a falling piano outside the dental clinic.

Well I sort of lied about that one. But having your football team lose to your sister's football team falls within the same area of concern. Is this the point where I lose all faith in humanity? Is there a black hole waiting for me the moment I get up off the couch? Oh that's right, it's just a game. But what a hurtful one it is.

Gloating Time Is Over...

2008-06-24T20:45:00.002+10:00

Actually by now it's beginning to wear off a bit, but what the hey. It's not every day you knock off an opponent when the odds are more than $5 for your side to win. It's an even rarer day when you bother showing up despite said odds.

So in the meantime, insert evil laugh here...

Canned Laughter

2008-06-17T19:08:00.004+10:00

Mmm, creamed coconut! Haven't had that in a while!

Now that's how the food pyramid should be structured... none of those boring old vegetables filled with useless fibre. But who needs a dozen cans of coconut cream anyway? Apparently we do.

It's hard to argue with the parents over the rationale of bulk sweeteners when you can get twelve cans for 20 cents each. Lucky I wasn't there at the supermarket to present this fine find at the checkout counter. They must've thought we were either hoarding the world's coconut cream supplies for the Mayan apocalypse (2012 folks, time to party down?) or making one darn big sago pudding. Now that I could go for.

Amalgam

2008-06-14T23:38:00.002+10:00

Some call it a hopeless case of sadistic glee. Some call it a form of self torture to the extreme, to the point where you get taken away during the night kicking and screaming. Yeah, that's exactly why I went to see North play Geelong the other Friday.

But first, to other matters of relative importance. I had to show up earlier in the afternoon to hand in a final version of one of my crazy 3000 word essays, which is a lot like the length of one of these posts. Handing stuff in during swotvac isn't exactly my idea of fun, but it's not like I had any other choice - these were the instructions my lecturer gave us. Speaking of lecturers, I found it kind of funny that her entire demeanor had changed for our final lecture a couple of weeks before. You know it's probably not a good thing when she describes the quality of draft papers as 'mediocre to awful', or something to that effect. Ten out of ten for the constructive criticism there... I imagine she possibly got out of the wrong side of the bed that morning, or perhaps she had read all the QoT forms from the week before that. Odd how feedback does that to some people.

**********

Afterwards I went to JB to grab myself a copy of the excellent Veronica Mars on DVD. How good is it? It's probably the reason I won't get more than 80% on my history exam this semester, that should be plenty explanation enough. I have this tendency to get into niche shows no one appreciates that usually end up getting cancelled due to the lack of fart jokes or the ever present nasality of Ray Romano. I hate to say it, but those reruns of Raymond make me really miss the IPL and the charming amateurism (shameless plug here - author, anyone?) of the presenters.

Anywho I was walking down the aisles looking at other new releases when I walked past this one guy holding a copy of 'PCD' by the Pussycat Dolls before promptly doing a double take. I knew someone had to be buying that garbage, but I'd at least hide it between two somewhat more respectable acts while walking through the store. Will someone please think of the children? But then again, if someone is looking to corner the stripper turned subpar R&B style pop market, they've probably arrived too late... this corner is taken. Ironically the 3rd series of Mars in the US was preempted to show "America's Got Lip Syncers" so it really all ties up so very well.

**********

But onto the main event, the moment I've been stalling out for the last few hundred words. The cause of all my pain. And it was all voluntary too, which is oh so odd. Usually I prefer to attend matches where I at least know we have a decent chance of winning, that way it at least gives you a reason to pay attention and not drown your sorrows in cup after cup of overpriced beer scented ditchwater.

I'm not sure how Josh got us these seats, but at least he offset the coolness by the fact we were deep inside the Geelong cheersquad zone. It could be worse I suppose, it's not like there were any bogans sitting directly around us. The first quarter was forgettable enough, the Cats really outkicked us at most opportunities and by the end it began to look a bit ominous for us Roos fans. The second and third were a lot better, we stayed in touch for most of it and made up for that last quarter quite well. Dare I dream to fathom the unfathomable?

Well you all know how it ended, so I won't bother you with too many details. It was fun being right next to the action though, with quite a few plays occurring in our general vicinity. Tough gig yelling words of encouragement when the rest of the crowd behind you is giving them abuse. I doubt they hear much of it out there anyway, it's all white noise to them.

Seeing the Auskick kiddies out during half time was pretty damned impressive. You have the usual bunch of kids who don't appear to know how to catch a ball, let alone kick one, and then you have the future star in the making who's seen far too many videos of their heros taking speccies and 60 metre goals. This one kid managed to dominate the ground managing to be everywhere at once, taking mark after mark. The best part was that he almost always played on by kicking it to himself and running away with the ball, often ending up bypassing his opponents (and his teammates) into what was often an open goal. What a star.

Strangely the red team ended up playing a very Sydneyesque defensive style of play, while the blue team played out a bit like Carlton, all over the place except for the one star I assume would be in the Fevola mould. Finishing the mini game was fun when all the kiddies ran past us giving us high fives. That experience was probably a lot funnier than it should be, but they had such enthusiasm and we were on our second beer flavoured substitute, so what the hell.

By the end of the night, I ended up having one real beer during dinner beforehand and three pretend beers at the game. Kavi was brave (and rich) enough to try out the rest of the spirits menu which consisted of more of the same - watered down bourbon and coke and a vodka and lemon premix, light on the, well everything I guess. If the government is truly cracking down on the alcopops craze then I'd say they got their inspiration from the football catering folk. Eight freaking dollars for a bourbon and coke?! Lucky for Kavi it was my round... damn fine timing indeed.

**********

One more thing before I go. This link here by the good folks at Engadget discusses the benefits of a super absorbent material that stops sounds from being heard halfway across the neighbourhood. That's pretty cool with me, the needless jabs at Hall and Oates brought a frown to my face. Fortunately said frown was turned upside down by the comments by the defenders of old pop music. Following this link will probably lead you to a state of apathy or confusion, but for the 2% of you out there who care, you'll love them.

Architectural Flash Card Hell

2008-06-04T23:23:00.001+10:00

Well I'm kinda awake again after all that sleep. But really the only reason I got out of bed was the exam I have to do during swotvac, which isn't cool at all. 60 questions written around the presentation of 50 images doesn't make for much fun. Considering I took days to 'study' for this test it really seems a bit underwhelming when the slides and questions are presented in less than 40 minutes.

It's funny how exams are really a test of people's short term memory, cramming all through the morning before the test only to forget the answers to the most obvious questions. As if someone would be able to identify the names, architects and dates of 50 something buildings without a single hitch. On certain occasions I'd be lucky to even remember where I live.

********************

My sister is doing an assignment for her course (Aii! Communications, is phony degree!) which involves her analysing a song for hidden meanings and presumably post hypnotic triggers Manchurian Candidate (or for a more modern example, Zoolander) style. At the moment she said that, for some reason 'Backstreet's Back' by the Backstreet Boys came to mind. Cos when you think about it really really hard there are so many levels to this song. For example:

They were apparently gone for a while, on holiday or something I guess. But now they're back! Yay!
They managed to fit a questionnaire into the bridge, no mean feat that. Asking the audience if they possess the qualities of being original, the only one, sexual and everything you need is all well and fine, it doesn't seem to work as well when you end up answering your own questions. I wonder if the answer was any different at their concerts.
And of course as long as there is music "we'll be coming back again". Based on hindsight, I guess you could technically say that's still correct. I still expect the Backstreet Senior Choir of Hard Knocks to be topping the charts in 50 years' time. But what if music as we know it ceases to exist in the future? What if music is reduced a bunch of repetitious melodies, lyrics and hooks set to the mindless beats that only a chimp could come up with? Oh wait, that future is now.

What a wonderful future we live in. (Don't you mean present?)

Well okay, maybe that wasn't that deep. But you see, given enough effort you can present a compelling argument for any song to be placed in the national archives. One could discuss the merits of say, Pink's claim that she's 'not here for your entertainment'. Well clearly the irony is pretty obvious when she's belting that one out in concert. I suppose I'm there for their selection of fine wines or something. But I'm not about to spend $100 just to point out her flawed logic to her in person. On the other hand, I did consider shelling out some dough to see the Rogue Traders at the Hotel Shoppingtown just to boo them, so never say never.

********************

Before I run away for the night, I'm going to try and balance this post off with what I consider to be good music, or at least good by comparison. Shuffling on both my Pod and my Mac, 'Writing to Reach You' by Travis managed to wedge itself in my mind twice today. The song is pretty cool in itself, and even uses the chords from Oasis' Wonderwall alongside the lyrical reference. The video is fun to watch too, with those damned kids trying to stop Fran from getting home in all sorts of murderous ways.

Join me next time when I attempt and fail to write a post without gratuitous references to the Veronicas or the Rogue Traders.

Hibernation

2008-05-31T01:04:00.001+10:00

Just a quick note to say that semester one is over. Thank freak for that... you know something isn't right when it's 2 in the morning and you don't need sleep and instead feel compelled to work on your project a little more. I had final presentation today, I'll post more on that a little later once I reacquaint myself with the sleeping patterns of a regular person. Strangely that involves me adapting the sleeping patterns of Mike Goldman, who only emerges twice a year to host Big Brother and Meerkat Manor. (I am convinced that the only reason he remains on BB is to prevent him from making any further seasons of Meerkat Manor. Time will tell.)

Oh, and it's probably time to return the wheelbarrows of books I borrowed from the libraries of the University of Melbourne and RMIT. It feels a bit odd borrowing there, I have this feeling that someday I'll be caught out and ostracised for attending an elitist institution with little regard for academic independence. Oh how the shame spiral turns.

To close things out, here's a clip I've been waiting for a short while. It's a clip from the season finale of Newstopia where they mess around with the voiceovers for Iron Chef.

Until next time, make sure someone's there to fill your plate.

Hardcore 19th Century Stuff

2008-05-10T19:20:00.002+10:00

Ah, the infinite wisdom of Microsoft Word, always thinks it knows better. Never thought typing up a 2500 word paper on architectural history could bring such hilarity. Or perhaps I've been working on this for far too long.

Don't know what Pre-Raphaelites are and care enough to find out? Click here for more. I only have one question - which one is supposed to be the Tupac of the bunch?

A Bridge To Nowhere

2008-05-08T00:10:00.001+10:00

Time for another day in the life for this design hack wannabe. This one is for a freeway sound wall somewhere out in the stick at Caroline Springs, which is kinda funny since the price of petrol will invalidate their choice of lifestyle and isolate them from the city. Probably just as well I guess. Anyone who chooses to live the 'dream' has to pay the price somehow.

The idea of a sound wall is really a lot more sculptural than architectural in the sense of designing a tangible building with defined functions and the like which made this one a bit harder to pull off. A couple of people in my group began experimenting with stationary like wire, pins and paper which yielded some pretty cool looking results, but I took my inspiration from the experiences of being inside a moving vehicle, in particular physics related components like speed, time, acceleration, distance and relativity.

The first three are kind of self explanatory and closely linked, but I considered distance more in terms of position away from the point of view, especially in regards to objects situated far away. This leads on to relativity which for the purposes of this argument is tied to the idea of relative motion between objects and the perceived motion. For example watching a passing train speed by a platform is completely different from being on the train in how you view the world. Lying at night watching the stars cross the sky represents not just the relative orbits of the two bodies, but the rotation of the Earth's surface as well.

After a while I came to a kind of arrangement involving lots of periscopes by evoking the power of the concepts of time and relativity. The idea being that while stuck on the highway you could look into the 'future' by peering into the periscope and seeing what the world is like on the other side, and vice versa. They would be colour coded so you could see which periscope leads where, preventing confusion and making the experience more tangible than using something like a wired television system. At the time I felt it had to possess a certain degree of physicality to it, otherwise it'd just be another kind of electronic contraption.

Hopefully that makes sense to you through the awesome power of words because it requires extra effort to scan sketches and even then I'm not sure they'd make much sense unless you saw them though my eyes. And no, I'm not going to gouge out my eyes and lend them to you via some sort of weird time share arrangement. So for now words will have to do.

Eventually it did get a bit too complicated and there were a number of small problems creeping in here and there. For example, mirrors don't work too well when you're speeding at 100 kph down the freeway. And it's an awful lot of the same thing over and over again for an entire kilometre. Granted, it's all over quite quick at speed, but you don't really have time to appreciate it. So it was back to the drawing board for me.

My eventual concept came from using just one of those many periscopes and imagining what it would feel like to pass through one of them, a ray of light entering a wormhole of sorts, bending as the path dictates. To this end I placed the paths of my freeways at different elevations, the city bound freeway running above ground and the outward bound curving underground. The two of them bend around the profile of the highway which is now not as high as it was before, but instead arches between the two roads. The enclosure minimises the amount of sound that hits the neighbourhood. The top quarters are mirrored in a concave manner so that they create visual distortions as they disappear around the corner. For some reason I imagined the trench holding the supports for the freeways could be used as some sort of street racing kind of location like the kind in those movies from the 60s. Even hoons would be happy here.

I'm not sure if I left anything out, but that's the general gist of what I was working on for all of three weeks. The tutors seemed pleased with it and didn't have too may complaints so all in all it was a pretty upbeat finish for a big presentation like this. It more than makes up for the lack of sleep that week.

Join me next time when I attend a Rogue Traders concert just to sit in the front row and boo them. Could that really happen? If I can get a couple other people to shell out some cash to go to the Shoppingtown Hotel (Babba have played there too... I'm sure they'd be honoured to be a fellow patron), then this conversation would turn a lot more serious...

Yay, First Year!

2008-05-05T22:56:00.002+10:00

Tumbling back through the archives as part of my ongoing procrastination quota for the day, I realised that it has been a year (and a day) since I first started this shambolic excuse for a blog. It feels great being the proud parent of an overly wordy, smart alecky, heavily backdated, net leeching blog with the vocabulary of almost 70 posts. Writing each post leads me to pour a bit of myself into each sentence, even if most of them are incoherently written or full of smut.

I haven't had as much time to write these as I'd like, especially as of late. In fact, right now I should be writing up a little presentation due Wednesday but birthdays like this don't pop up every day. All I can say is thank you to everyone who bothers tuning in every now and then, even if it's just another post about my crackpot get rich quick schemes or my hatred of pop music.

And so here's to the next year of nonsense. I don't really have a gift for you, dear readers but I can attempt to 'give' you the gift of Black Sabbath via the tubes of the interwebs. Against my better judgment (and numerous uni assignments), I managed to catch a screening of Iron Man today and it's almost as good as I expected. The only thing that could've made it better is if they played the Black Sabbath 'Iron Man' theme tune throughout.

Doesn't that just make the entire film twice as good? The song has nothing to do with the storyline of the comic books at all but at least it teaches you not to pass through big magnetic fields, lest you get turned into iron and turn everyone against you before destroying them all by kicking their heads in with your giant boots of lead. Seriously, that's what it's all about.

Join me next time when I try and explain the particulars of architectural theory. Riveting stuff, that.

Steal This Blog!

2008-04-29T14:56:00.003+10:00

In today's Age:

"Australia's biggest musical acts are crying poor in a new documentary that seeks to discourage people from obtaining music illegally and change the public's perception that they live a high life of riches and glamour.

Artists featured on the video include Silverchair, Powderfinger, the Veronicas, Operator Please, Jimmy Barnes, Evermore, Gyroscope, Frenzal Rhomb, Grinspoon, Phrase, Human Nature, Mahalia Barnes, Damien Leith, Anthony Callea, Weapon X, Ken Hell and the Dawn Collective."

Now show me someone who admits to downloading a Human Nature album, and I'll show you someone who doesn't know the meaning of music. I don't quite remember when Human Nature went from being a boring pop group to a boring Motown covers band, but unless it's Mother's Day every single week, I don't see many people BitTorrenting 'Get Ready - The Songs of Motown III' before presenting their well thought out gift in the form of a burnt CD.

Even if you were to download Motown music, why wouldn't you go and get the original stuff? Not that I'm condoning doing so, but surely the original would give you a far superior appreciation of the subject matter.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to download the latest Ashlee Simpson 'record' so that I may burn it to disc. It appears I'm all out of coasters.

Yet Another Great Idea From The Justinian Moneymaking Institute

2008-04-26T18:21:00.003+10:00

From the people who brought you Bacon Spray and Colostomy Jet Packs, we now present you with the latest in food cross promotional branding! I'd explain it in text, but who can be bothered typing out their own material when you can simply copy and paste chat transcripts? But there's no need to rephrase such brilliance when you have a conversation like this...

[Fire Moth] If you eat like a noob, you will be owned like a noob[Hail to the King, baby!]: back

Justin - Coolness is to be measured in GigaFonzies: wb

X: yeah

X: eww halo 3

Me: lol

Me: halo the movie?

X: lol

Me: halo the breakfast cereal?

X: that would be a laugh

X: hahaha

X: breakfast cereal

Me: little master chiefs for breakfast

X: a noob in every box

Me: hahaha

Me: little grunts in each bite

X: mmm!

X: it tastes so nooooby!

Me: hehehe

Me: i reckon the jagged edges of the characters would choke most ppl who tried to eat it

X: lol

Me: which is a good thing

X: yeah

Me: it'd kill off most of the halo fanbase

X: cause you deserve it if your eating halo cereal

X: hahaha yes

Me: hahaha

Since then in my crassness I also came up with the idea of Halo branded contraceptives, but the chances of such a product being used are fairly negligible to say the least. I should probably also state that we don't hate Halo as much as the above conversation sounds, it's just not worth all that fanatical adoration, that's all.

Melbourne Uni Bathroom Grafitti Tour - Part Deux

2008-04-25T20:15:00.000+10:00

One of my favourite blogs out there on the interweb is Passive-Aggressive Notes, which is pretty much exactly what the name claims it to be. Nothing hidden, just a really straight forward mission statement and hilarious messages left by people who can't express their anger properly. This one here taken by me would be a contender to make the front page of that fine publication. Strangely this is located in the same toilet block as the subject of my first note, I really need to get out to other toilets.

Temporary Glory For The Win!

2008-04-23T19:04:00.005+10:00

I know at some point I'll be knocked back down the ladder into the doldrums of fantasy football competitions, but what the heck... you don't come second every week. Remember kids, in the words of the great Buzz Aldrin, second comes right after first!

For a team which I put minimal effort into each and every week, that's a fair result I'd wager. The previous year in which I did this it managed to consume my entire Thursday and Fridays studying stats in the vain hope of making a good trade. Not anymore. The mission statement this time round is to do as little as possible and coast through to the finals (hopefully). If Brave Bold (Bald?) Captain Ablett keeps kicking 250 points each round, heck half my work is done...

If this text shows up inexplicably underlined, that's because this is the first post I'm making on my brand newish MacBook Pro. Why it would do this to me makes no sense, but at least for a second you'll think this is REALLY IMPORTANT.

(Okay, I managed to find the anti-underlining command... just need to figure out how it came to be the default. Computing noobery, not me!)

Melbourne Uni Bathroom Grafitti Tour - Chapter One

2008-04-17T17:04:00.001+10:00

Aww, how romantic... Such great toilet humour.

The State Of Things To Come

2008-03-20T08:19:00.001+11:00

That is, if the world is overrun by forum trollers or flamers in some sort of Skynet from Terminator style. I imagine we'd get crazy graffitti like this from our 'l33t' speaking overlords, and for one welcome them.
Actually this was done by a friend to another friend's car on one of our numerous cricketing trips (another cricketing reference for you Pete...). Needless to say this narrows the field of suspects greatly. Has he noticed? Will he? Tough call that.
And thus ends yet another hubcap related story (no really, I'm serious). May geekfitti inherit the earth in a veritable nerdgasm of the senses. Til then it's over and out from me.

From The Wayback When Machine

2008-03-19T09:33:00.001+11:00

Wayback being last month that is. Remember kids, you're never too old for four square. Look at those poses, those moves are so fresh, snap!!

A Day And A Bit In The Life

2008-03-16T20:57:00.002+11:00

Looks like it's time for a back to front story where flashbacks are provided for no particular reason than to annoy the audience. If JJ Abrams can use the same trick on Alias and Lost, surely I can have a shot too. And here we go... "By the time I got home on Friday night, I had been awake for only 21 hours. I would've stretched it out for another three for dramatic effect, but I imagine that's not such a great idea..."

39 hours earlier - Thursday morning, 11am
Caught up with Keyur for lunch. Forgot to ask him about his trip to the SPC factory. Mental note for next week.

38 hours earlier - Thursday afternoon, 12pm
Decide to finish off sketches for design class at Union House (or as Josh calls it, Onion House) where all my card playing friends are. Fortunately they're already stuck into a game of 500 so I don't get sucked in. I'm pretty awful at it anyways, it makes me feel less of an Asian. If only there was a solution for it that was as simple as downing a can of Solo. I guess the Asian equivalent is something from the Bubble Cup.

36 hours earlier - 2pm
Sit through mind numbingly confusing Theories of Architecture tute. Something about the interiority of architecture. Thoughts turn to self defenestration.

35 hours earlier - 3pm
Sit in computer lab for the next three hours drawing up my design. I had done most of the backdrops at home but I didn't have the programs to finish it of there. It really makes me think more about getting a new laptop, I almost finished most of the drawing the night before but the lack of a certain program made me run into a brick wall. On the upside there aren't half as many distractions in the computer lab so I did manage to get a lot of it done. No procrastination zone is in effect here.

31 hours earlier - Thursday night, 7pm
Get home, have dinner only to realise I am no longer in the non-procrastination zone and proceed to waste the next hour checking my RSS feeds for nothing in particular. They build up so quickly that it becomes a bit compulsive to sift through.

24 hours earlier - Friday morning, 2am
I arrested my stuffing around at about 9 and cleaned up all the loose ends with my drawings. I should probably explain what it is I'm doing. The brief is for a ferry terminal down at Federation Walk by the Yarra, right next to Fed Square and across the road from Flinders Street Station. There is no real limitation on the scale of the entire thing, but I assumed this would be a little shelter for people waiting for the ferry as part of the greater public transport network so I went about with that scale in mind.

We only had a week for the design so I just went with the first thing that comes to mind which these days tends to lean towards organic, nature inspired forms. This one came about as a gentle swell of current washing upon the shore. I was afraid it might look a bit too aggressive and come across as a tidal wave coming to destroy us all, but I think I kinda got away with it by stretching it out.

One other thing to note is that I put some benches under the shelter running in the same fashion as the structure just to run the theme home. Building them over each of the existing docking areas gives a sense of repetition you would see of a series of waves sweeping along.

21 hours earlier - 5am
I conk out at 2, stressed out by the difficulty of building the physical model. I really set myself up for these things when there are so few straight lines in the entire proposal, so I really have myself to blame. When I regroup after three wholesome hours of sleep, I am able to concentrate a lot more on what the hell is going on and fortunately I am able to put it all together by 7am.

16 hours earlier - 10am
We all line up our work in the Atrium of the supposedly asbestos infested splendour of the Archi building to pin up our work "So You Think You Can Design A Ferry Terminal?" or as I like to call it, SYTYCDAFT. Just rolls off the tongue, that one.
Designs of all sorts litter the boards and it's certainly fascinating seeing how people have gone about it all. Strangely I don't feel all that tired when it gets to my project, the adrenaline from the nerves is doing its job well. I manage to get through it fairly unscathed with only a couple of minor criticisms coming my way, with my half arsed presentation layout letting me down somewhat. But otherwise I think I did alright for a short exercise like this.

13 hours earlier - Friday afternoon, 1pm
A solid day of studios is broken up by a midday lecture in what has to be described as the most uncomfortable lecture theatre on campus, the Baldwin Spencer Building theatre. I swear it was designed for midgets or something.

9 hours earlier - Friday evening, 5pm
I hang back in the Rowden White library (gotta get the most out of my $200 union membership somehow) for a bit after class to look up a copy of Shaun Micallef's 'Smithereens' which is sadly so out of print I cannot find myself a copy. Shaun's writing and sense of humour is ridiculously random which is exactly why I'll watch almost anything he's involved in.

7 hours earlier - 7pm
I bum around the city for a bit like the proverbial while waiting for Kavi to pick me up to go to Harry's place for a night of food, booze and poker with some of my Property & Construction friends from uni. It's a bit odd with our timetables that we rarely see each other during uni so this is something I've been looking forward to all day.
I manage to scrounge a cheapo BoP from Dungeon of all places, I'm still checking it for forgeries. Walking back up Swanston, the cold change the weathermen have been promising for so long finally shows up. Maybe it's time they took large chunks of ice from the Antarctic and put them on city blocks so we could all cool down. I blame Adelaide for this awful heat wave.

6 hours earlier - 8pm
Kavi has been driving for a month and a bit so I quietly start writing my last will and testament. But seriously, his driving is as good as anyone else's. I play navigator but he supplies me with a giant version of the Melways more suited for the blind. The damned thing is as heavy as the encyclopaedia and turning pages is awkward when I have to reach across the centre console. We get there half an hour early only to find Harry's on his way back so we decide to order food early but get lost as none of us remember the way. Roads in Doncaster/Balwyn are a pain to navigate.

5 hours earlier - 9pm
The catching up is cool. Losing to a straight on the river isn't much so. Oh well, that's what you get for trying to muscle people around by going all in. I blame my extended operating hours for such a lapse in concentration but all in all I had a pretty good time. Playing four different types of poker at once is puzzling to say the least unless you've forgotten the name of one of them and end up referring to it as "ice cream!!" Lots of stupid stories and inside jokes about contract management are exchanged during this time. I know what you're thinking. It's a lot less cool than it sounds.

0 hours earlier - Saturday morning, 2am
We depart at about half past one and I manage to somehow guide Kavi to my place with his giant atlas of suburban Melbourne. I keep reminding him I am not too far from certain fatigue and will endanger us both if I don't take a power nap soon by directing us into a creek somewhere. Now yet another person knows where I live which is particularly dangerous for me as more and more people are able to threaten me with that exact line. I'm too tired to worry about details like that though and thus we end up in the "present".

Join me some other time when I don't have all nighters to pull where I attempt to backtrack on the last month and a bit of mobile phone pics. It'll be as bad as you think.

Are You The Splitting Image Of Shane Watson?

2008-03-12T18:23:00.000+11:00

If so you have the misfortune of being one of his many clones, or perhaps you happen to be the man himself. In which case please turn yourself in for destruction at first convenience. Thank you for your attention.

Mixed Bag

2008-03-03T20:40:00.001+11:00

Just a quick one for today. I don't normally outsource my brutish college brand of humour but this one really made me laugh. The day you see Say Something written with a Punjabi slant on current events is the day it's all over.

Original can be found here.

Of course you have to actually know the song for it to make any sense and the MS Office stylings are a bit cheap, but I love a good pie chart gag once in a while. This love is only exceeded by my affinity for Venn diagram jokes.

In other news, Brett Lee managed to snare the Allan Border Medal from the hands of the anti Indian Hayden and Ponting (hey, that wasn't written by me...!) in what my dad might describe as being a "disapponting" year for the two of them ("BOING"... that was definitely not me). In celebration, let us all sing the anthem I was performed many times in the past and will now share with you, the reader.

BRETT LEE!!! (Sing to the "Trogdor" theme)

BRETT LEEEE!!!!
BRETT LEEEE!!!!
Brett Lee was a man
I mean, he was a bowlin' man
Or maybe he was just a bowler
But he was still BRETT LEE!
BRETT LEE!

Bowlinating the countryside
Bowlinating the peasants
Bowlinating all the peoples
In the thatched-roof COTTAGES! THATCHED-ROOF COTTAGES!

When the English line-up is in ruin
And bowlination makes them cry in their sleep
Only one guy will remain
My money's on

BRETT LEE!
BRETT LEE!

And the Brett Lee comes in the NIIIIIGHT!

Okay, so I didn't exactly make up a lot of the lyrics. The ones in red are the one I rarely have the memory to perform and so I have not really made anything up for them. Notice how nothing rhymes. The original was not much better, but it is Trogdor after all. Feel free to offer suggestions. The best one will win a prize of some non-description.

So really the song comes down to:

BRETT LEEEE!!!!
BRETT LEEEE!!!!

Bowlinating the countryside
Bowlinating the peasants
Bowlinating all the peoples

And the Brett Lee comes in the NIIIIIGHT!

I for one think it's better off this way.

PS: I was watching "Ice Princess" the other night for some reason. The family was watching that while I was squinting trying to watch Top Gear in the Picture-In-Picture. No dice. Apart from being a Disney production, I was surprised to see it starred The Key from Buffy being best friends with the cheerleader from Heroes whose mother happened to be Kim Cattrall. I sat there in amazement thinking this must have been the first role for Cattrall in a while where the plot didn't involve her trying to have sex with everyone/thing in sight. She was trying to screw Trachtenberg's character over at one point though, does that count?

PPS: I just finished reading the original "I Am Legend" after having to wait two months for it to show up at the library only to have the family dawdle about with it for the first two and a half weeks and forcing it upon me with four days to go before it was due back. It's quite popular right now for obvious reasons but I'm sure most people will be disappointed (or should I say disapponted, "kerching!") to find out the book is nothing like the movie. The movie manages to do a decent job of it, with many of the plots altered slightly to either suit modern times or for various other movie reasons. I would've liked to have seen a movie loyal to the original storyline, but I'm not too fussed I guess. Will Smith does own the role good though the ending was crapola.

Haha, fooled you into thinking this wouldn't take long! Now you've wasted five minutes you're never getting back*!

*Refunds of time will be honoured if possible upon presentation of coupon and depending on how you plan on wasting my time. No talk of how reality TV gets better and better each year please. I will throttle you myself.

On The Buses Again

2008-02-19T08:08:00.001+11:00

Our bus is brought to a halt by a group of cyclists who think they can rule the roads with bullying tactics. Most of them rode on after blockading us for a few minutes but 4 or 5 remain, forcing the driver to call police. I'm not sure how it works but you would think public transport has right of way.

"Sorry" Seems To Be...

2008-02-13T23:22:00.002+11:00

Just a quick one for today that I might actually deliver upon. Today was 'Sorry Day' and the Rudd government finally did what so many governments before them failed to bring themselves to do. Many might argue that the move is largely useless as it happened such a long time ago and we are not directly responsible for the actions of those before us. But really the move is symbolic of the present day to acknowledge the mistakes and sins of the past in order to allow everyone to move on and attempt to rectify the awful situation the Aboriginal population are in compared to the rest of the population. Saying sorry does not make it all better right away, but at least it's the first step in the right direction.

The only reason I felt compelled to write something is because of the reaction the apology got in certain quarters. Listening to Nova at work, I was led to their site (don't know how long this page will be up for... look for post 154. It summarises what's wrong with everyone there) where they had a forum going on. Reading the reaction of people there made me think there are too many bogans with access to a computer. Bigoted comments from people with a stereotypical impression of the Aboriginal community as lazy drunk dole bludgers really make me wonder if we've suddenly gone back to a less inclusive society over the course of the Howard years.

Are people that selfish that they shudder at the thought of using "our taxpayer dollars" to fund projects that improve their way of life? Someone there even cited the "upward turn on inflation" any compensation or addition funding for projects might have. Obviously nothing else matters when you're overextending your budget to pay off your mortgages, plasma TVs and private school fees. If I was a hyper aggressive person I'd tell one of these forum posters to take their next tax cut and shove it up their arse. The black man won't get your precious money as long as it's up there. Oh look, I've resorted to generalising too. Hush, while no one else is looking...

Strangely looking at the comments made on The Age, the comments are largely in favour of the apology, regardless of its merits. I'd look up the Herald Sun page but I'm afraid I have a good idea of what I'd be getting there.

If nothing else, today we should be sorry for people who think like the typical Nova listener.

How Much Cricket Is Too Much?

2008-02-11T22:48:00.000+11:00

Here's a rundown of what my Friday and Saturday consisted of.

Friday - 6.30pm
Get off work and jump on the train to Eltham. Allegedly perform Jedi Mind Trick on ticket inspector by showing him a Zone 1 ticket at Montmorency. Of course just typing it doesn't make it real in case of libel, but they really should find a better way of policing fare evasion which doesn't involve assuming people are awful criminals. You know, guys like me (if indeed I did do it...)

7.30
Arrive at Eltham station and jump into Marcus' car to find out Sri Lanka is playing like crap. Break into rendition of Marsland's "Vengabus/Charminda Vaas is coming" because I can. It's either hilarious or bewildering depending on your knowledge or sense of humour.

8.00
Arrive at Marcus' place then receive phone call from his girlfriend Eileen where her family has failed to detect a mutant kebab that had been growing in their unused oven for almost three months. Images of Resident Evil style slayings of semi sentient undead kebab men somehow conjure themselves up in my head. With an imagination like that, it's times like those that I'm most glad to be me and not some mindless git.

8.40
Actual conversation with Eileen takes this long as we have a big conference call over speaker phone, just like Jack Bauer would with the President. Tomb Raider is on and she announces some sort of liking for Angelina Jolie for no particular reason. I suppose I have no issue with that.

9.00
Around this time the Australia v Sri Lanka game is done and dusted and was very disappointing indeed. But never fear, as Marcus introduces me to the wonderful world of indoor cricket... through corridors and doorways. For the next couple of hours we barely avoid smashing priceless family heirlooms while we upgrade our hand eye coordination. Every now and then we use the door jambs to our advantage with Beckham like bends to fool Hawkeye.

11.00
One the only reasons I would shell out some hard earned for the infinite repitorium (where TV shows go to die in an endless cycle of repeats) known as cable comes on in the form of Conan O'Brian. Due to the writers' strike he fills time by giving an audience member a tour of the NBC building where they run up and down stairs a lot. It sounds a lot less interesting than it actually is. O'Brian is a champ.

Saturday - 12.00am
At some point we sit down to watch the replay of the T20 game between the Kiwis and the Poms. England is actually good for once which is a nice change of pace. We also go for another innings of household smashout and play cards for a bit until 2am or so. At this stage I've been awake for almost 20 hours and really should know better.

3.00
The cricket ends and early episodes of WPT comes on. Van Patten is in the early stages of perfecting his toolish facade. Oh wait, he was always like that. Backgammon comes on at 4am and try as I might, I will not be able to pick up the finer qualities of the game at this time of night. Some random Russian girl is playing there and happens to be less than half the average age of everyone else there, not to again mention the fact she is female. Backgammon championships are a lot like chess championships, but with fewer groupies.

6.00
My timeline is very foggy at this stage for good reason, but I think there were only two hours of backgammon. You know it'd do a lot better if it had commentary by Dennis Commetti or Vince Van Patten. I don't know of any good backgammon jokes, please send them in and explain them in 500 words or less.

Around this time more cricket comes on. This time it's the replay of last night's game and I sleep through the awfulness.

12:00pm
Awaken to uncertain morning and feel need for more cricket. No, not really but a shower took care of that. They have a a mini hourglass in the shower which helps them with water restrictions and all. I suddenly feel like the Prince of Persia in the Sands of Time where the floor of the shower cubicle opens up to plunge my awfully drenched naked body into a snake pit. Then all I'd have to do is turn the hourglass upside down and all would be well again! I continue playing Sands of Time for the next half hour, single handedly undoing all the water Marcus' family would have saved over the course of the month.

I know you didn't need all that imagery, I'm so sorry. In case you were wondering, I didn't spend all that time in the shower. I kid, I kid!

2.00
While waiting for lunch, we go to the backyard to play outdoors cricket where we can hit the ball slightly harder. Lunch comes and goes, where I forget how hot hot English mustard actually is when I put dollop upon dollop on into my burger roll. It has a certain Wasabi feel to it which clears my sinuses up good. I try not to show it but I occasionally have to take an extra drink.

3.00
Back for more cricket. A live ODI between NZ and England is on, but England have suddenly forgotten how to play 50 overs cricket and are promptly bowled out for a low total. It was so bad we decided we had to go outside and play just to prove even we are less incompetent than those stinking Poms. It's strange how much easier the ball is to his when you're not facing scoreboard pressure. It also helps that we're not trying to tear each other's heads off with each delivery.

Sunday - 2pm
By now I have been home for a fair while but the match between us and the Indians comes on the TV. I watch about 10 overs before I decide I've had enough and go upstairs for some much needed sleep. I later wake up at 7 to discover we're in deep shit anyway, so no big loss really.

And that's all from me for now. If all goes well I'll have an epic post that'll reek of effort and will hopefully muster a chuckle or two out of a couple of you. Laters, y'all!

Blog On The Run - Track To The Future

2008-02-05T08:56:00.001+11:00

Such is the congestion on the Frankston line that trains in the present have to make way for those that run afterwards. At least catching the Connex time machine to work might get you there on time, even if you have to wait two weeks for it to show up.
Other than that, have a great day y'all. Will make a real post in the near future/past with a real keyboard. Oh, my texting thumb... Who knows the way to the hospital?

Driving Off To Radio Nowhere

2008-02-03T00:32:00.000+11:00

Got off my Ps the other day. This would have counted as some sort of major milestone if I actually had a car to drive, but at least I'm one of the safest drivers in the state. VicRoads sent me a letter two weeks before congratulating me on a job well done for not losing any demerit points and subsequently offered me a small discount on my license renewal fees, but then again you can't exactly violate any driving or parking laws when you've barely driven 100km over the course of your probation.

But enough of talking about my lack of petrol guzzling capacity and mobility, there are far more important issues to rip into. Like the state of pop music on our radios. Since the axing of Get This (RIP, 2006 - 2007), I have severed my loyalty to the Ms and am now a nomad wandering in the wasteland that is FM radio. No station can possibly fulfil my audible needs so as a result I find myself listening to up to three breakfast shows, often at once to find that they end up talking about the same old crap within minutes of each other. There are only so many Wayne Carey jokes you can make, people.

The music isn't much better when it comes to 'rocking through you workday'. This year so far we've been listening to Nova at work and after a few weeks it really isn't all that much different from the other commercial music stations no matter what they say. Sure they might play a couple of tracks the other stations wouldn't touch in a million years, but other than that there's no real sense of separation.

To demonstrate my point, here is a breakdown of the songs I have come to hate over the past month played out over the course of a typical work day. My commitment to work can be clearly seen by my notes on when the song has been played. I'm sure I'd register a few more playing times if I hadn't gone out of the office for lunch too.

These are some of my least favourite songs right now, and I hope they're some of yours too.

Pink - Because I Can (9.14am)
Not another week goes without yet another track spinning itself down to the CD store to be released a single. And it really goes to show that quality does drop down just a tad when single number seven comes along. I know it sounds old and tired, but I'm beginning to miss the old Pink when her sound was somewhat new and different. Strangely this gets airplay even on Triple M just because it's got a couple of electric guitars going on the the background, which really is the only criteria you need for getting on the Ms these days in something I like to call the Ashlee Simpson Policy.

Timbaland Feat. OneRepublic - Apologise (9.22am, 3.10pm)
Hold on there, mister. Why are you complaining about this song? It's a perfectly decent song produced by the one of the most talented men in the music industry today and it manages to be only half as annoying as the other songs around. You're right, me. I shouldn't be as harsh on this song as you say I am, but I'm afraid persistent exposure to Apologise (or 'Pologise' as I have come to know it... that 'A' just disappears into an aether of semi demi mini quavers) has worn out most of the goodwill I have towards this song.

The other day I saw an advert for a Maroon 5 gig (where do I begin with them?) where OneRepublic was the supporting act. Their logo was shown under said heading but with the underlying tagline "It's too late to apologise" in case people had trouble remembering who they were. Better safe than sorry I suppose. And what exactly does their track listing consist of apart from 'Apologise'? A cover of Toto's 'Africa' followed by an special encore of 'Pologise'?

Britney Spears - Gimme More (9.44am)
According to Wikipedia, the word 'gimme' is used up to eighty-eight times. I have no reason to dispute this.

Although this song is fairly annoying with its use of electronic voice altering effects to the point where any goon could be singing the song and made to sound like Spears, there's a funny part at the end where Danja, the producer and disciple of the aforementioned lord of pop productions Timbaland does a little spoken word novella. The part where he says:

Ha, you gonna have to remove me
Cause I ain't goin' no where, haha

It's now something I aim to put into everyday conversation... I think it's got legs. Too lazy to do household chores? About to get tackled by the ticket inspectors cos you didn't bother buying a ticket? Refusing to yield your seat to a pregnant woman on a lifeboat? You gonna have to remove me man... cos I ain't goin' no where...

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love (10.08am, 1.24pm, 4.13pm)
With the number of plays that cursed song gets each day, it's a wonder she hasn't bled to death already. I hope she was at a blood bank, at least she could make herself somewhat useful. Seriously though, when it comes to songs like these you think they'd know when to hold back so it doesn't outstay its welcome. I have no real problem with this song really, for a second rate power balladeer in the style of a Carey, Houston or whatever. It just gets played as if it were the only song left in the music library.

Rogue Traders - I Never Liked You (10.16am - only once... wow)
Evoking TV memories of high school romances being crushed by a peroxide laced simulacrum, this is probably one of the most unlikeable songs to hit radio this year. I know it's supposed to come across as a breakup song but it really sounds like she's just rubbing it in the guy's face. Compound that with the fact that Bassingthwaighte can only sing when hiding behind a battery of synthesizers and you have yourself a Top 40 hit!

The Veronicas - Untouched (10.37am, 5.27pm)
Call me cynical and blunt or suffering from blunt cynicism, but any song which starts out with lyrics like:

I go ooh ooh, you go ah ah
lalalalalalalala, lalalalalalalala
I wanna wanna wanna get get get what I want
Don't stop
Give me give me give me what you got got

...would strongly suggest they had a small mental block when it came to writing lyrics. The record labels are all too eager to let us know that the girls indeed write their own songs and that they're not just another good looking pair of twins hooked up to Auto-Tune posing with an electric guitar to give the impression they can play the instrument to a competent level. I mean you could fit twice as many lyrics into a song like that and they can somehow churn out a Top 40 hit by hitting Cut and Paste over the word 'wanna' on a keyboard. And don't get me started on the faux violin power chords in between chants of 'alalalala'.
Kylie Minogue - Wow (11.31am, 3.25pm)
Nothing could take her down. Cancer, relationship woes and Street Fighter came and went down for the count before the seemingly indestructible Ms. Minogue. After the end of civilisation I imagine aliens will find copies of Kylie's Greatest Hits CD and presume we all dressed in gold hotpants and possessed vocal chords that shattered the sound barrier.

The way you walk, the rhythm when you're dancing,
Every inch of you smells of desire,
You're such a rush, the rush is never ending,
Now,
You got it, you're wow wow wow wow,
Wow wow wow wow.

I imagine I don't even have to point out what's wrong with using an exclamation as an adjective.
It also sounds a lot like she's sampling her older work with the 80s style beats. For someone who says she's sick of performing 'I Should Be So Lucky' two decades after its release it certainly doesn't sound like she's completely over it just yet.

Though really I shouldn't be the one complaining especially given my current favourite tracks. As of writing I'm stuck somewhere in the 70s and 80s 'Life On Mars' style in a coma filled with silly songs. I've explained the virtues of Hall and Oates' "Out Of Touch" before and when you're in the mood for it, it's repeating itself throughout my commute to work. And now I'm on to Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" from the final episode of The Sopranos, though I have to say I'm used to hearing the song abruptly finish near the end. It's the only way to remember it. As of Thursday night's ep of Family Guy, Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" took up residence inside my head and may not leave for some time. Things are looking bleak for my musical tastes.

After all is said and done... time to winch out a post which reeks of effort! You'll know which one it is when it happens.

On The Road, Out Of Touch

2008-02-01T19:29:00.001+11:00

When you put your iPod on shuffle and a song you've been rambling about forever shows up 4th way in, you know it's meant to be...

Out Of Touch, Out Of TIme

2008-01-16T23:04:00.000+11:00

...And if you know the rest of that line you're clearly living in the past like me. Who needs Timbaland when you have the majesty of Hall & Oates?

Hmm let's try and start that again...

Hello one and all, and welcome back to Say Something for another calendar year. I'd have something prepared for the coming financial year but a hundred accountant jokes really leaves little to the imagination. It's great to be back after the break but a week at work really makes you forget you had been on holiday at all and on Thursday I was telling myself I needed a holiday. The coffee shop down the street is still closed for the next week or so which is bizzare given that no one is capable of living without one during the workday so I had to grab one at the Coffee HQ at Flinders. I tried the large version which costs $4.20 and is big enough to drown yourself in. They do make a fine gallon of caffeine though, I'll give them that much.

Over the new year's I flew up to Brisbane for a couple of days with a friend from high school. When he asked me about a month and a half before, I wasn't really doing anything and being away for a while was a really good idea, so I happily agreed. I usually cop a bit of flak for having anything to do with him in general because he can get on people's nerves somewhat. Those who know how I'm on about are free to ask me in person then keep their mouths shut if they so wish. These days my general inclination is to just downright lie and say I'm with someone else. At this point you're probably wondering why I'm typing all of this, especially when anyone can read and report it but I figured this is a great chance to see if it will indeed get back to him.

The real purpose of this post today is to just show you lots of silly photos from the trip. Explaining and describing everything would take too long and could be lengthy enough to fill several Year 9 standard B+ grade essays riddled with a combination of British English, American English and whatever it is Canadians speak, eh? Instead you have the leisure of experiencing my joy in photo form. If a photo tells a thousand words, this would merely result in me handing in extra essays before being marked down for writing over twelve pages double sided.

The scene up in 'sunny' Brisbane was really set when we got off the plane. Light drizzle greeted us as we set off onto the tarmac and at first I found it real odd when everyone there was in yellow raincoats and not the thongs and cheap Hawaiian shirts I was expecting. Clearly I've been watching the wrong shows. Getting to the city was surprisingly quick, as Brisbane is a fairly small town but is also a real treat to visit. It's kinda busy but not that busy, it resembles parts of Melbourne well enough with its gridded streets but has a bit of Sydney with its greater integration with the riverfront.

'We would like to welcome you on board Virgin Blue and hope you enjoy your flight. My name is (insert name here) and I'd like to introduce you to your ridiculously good looking cabin crew today...'

Having inspected the crew myself while boarding I was really in no position to argue. It may be a statement of fact but there's really no need to rub it in our faces, and even if they could they would do so by wearing a very thick glove to prevent us fuglies from contaminating their flawless qualities.

I'm not sure why, but I never seem to get tired of flying. I've done it tens of times (count them, TENS!!) before but looking out the window flying above the clouds always does it for me, fluffy innocent looking clouds raining death and destruction upon the flooded.... no, don't go there!

Waiting in my super economised seat I had the suspicion I was on the cheaparse flight from hell when Maroon 5 started blaring away on the PA system. Knowing that I couldn't switch on my iPod due to the off chance that Hall & Oates could be partially responsible for the demise of us and the other 200 cheapskates on board I decided to grunt my way through the audible torture much like how the prisoners at Abu Graib have to sit through a playlist made of Metallica, Sesame Street and James Blunt. The last one is made up, but I had you for a second there, didn't I?

Incidentally Blunt was next on the cabin PA. To the emergency hatch we go!

Here I am on a ferry. This may seem somewhat unremarkable to most, and may even come across as arrogant. What is this guy thinking, as if catching public transport is worth bragging about?! Stuff this, I'm off to watch Two And A Half Men! Well that's where you're wrong my friend, as it may surprise and shock you when I tell you I was on a decent public transport system.

That's right, just soak that statement in for a second.

Coming from a place like Melbourne where us plebs are taken for granted, going to a place like Brisbane where things actually run on time is quite nice. They even had dedicated bus lanes and tunnels so that no idiot drivers can possibly get in the way with their talkback radio show fuelled aggression. It really felt like we were 2nd class citizens, a nice change from the 4th class cattle we're used to back home. Come on, it's not even a premium kind of beef.

Evoking my college humour avatar, I ran into what appeared to be the roots of something real sinister. Having encountered an ANL House back on St Kilda Road, I thought it was just an isolated incident of an unfortunately named company. How wrong was I. From this evidence it seems clear that this is not just a case of an ANL company in an ANL building. No, this suggests there is an ANL empire, an ANL multinational running (or rather walking rather awkwardly) company spanning the seven seas! How very sinister and uncomfortable. Or it could be a society of really pedantic unlikable people. I'm sure they'd be too happy being amongst their own kind to even notice.

At some point during proceedings we went sightseeing (or at least tried when it wasn't pelting down) along the river, alighting and boarding as we saw fit. Eventually we got off at the end of the line at the University of Queensland where it was like a deserted town except there were no town drunk cadavers or abandoned whore houses to visit. Anywho, along the way we the saw the poster above. Now if you're not that familiar with this proud 'publication' you should probably refer to this. Otherwise, all I have to say is that even Queenslanders have heard of it. Why haven't you? Argh, if only I had been allowed to do gestures...

Upon returning to Melbourne I only had the night to rest before setting off on the road again, this time with the family down the Mornington Peninsula for some sun and air conditioned accommodation. As long as you're inside, you're more than free to enjoy the bay views and sun, that's how I see it. We were off to some spot named Cape Schank where I had eventually come to refer to it as Cape Schnaky-Schnaky-Schnakiieee after that annoying ringtone. I had a pretty good idea of where we were going and which general direction we'd be heading but nothing really prepares you when you wake up from a 15 minute back seat passenger power nap to discover you're suddenly in Frankston.

The Bowie/Fanning room. Huh?

I found this odd looking sign at the resort at the entry to some function room. I keep staring at it and none of it makes any sense. Fanning could be some sort of person, but unless I'm mistaken there can only be one Bowie and he wouldn't be likely to accept an invitation to perform with Bernard Fanning in some coastal resort down in Victoria. Something tells me that if I bothered doing some research and checking my facts that would be some sort of mechanical services room, but I choose to think I could open that door and enter a fantasy world where David Bowie and Bernard Fanning can sing beautiful duets together... Ziggy Stardust wishes you well. If only I had audio input here... I do a mean Bowie singing the chorus to Wish You Well (I like to think it's a good impression).

Well that's all the photos I can upload for now. Hopefully that was more exciting than your idiot uncle talking you through his holiday pics taken on his trip to the SPC factory. Speaking of which, I must ask Keyur how that went. He says he didn't go there willingly but I'm not so sure...

Famous Indian Cricketers... With 'Benefits'

2007-12-30T23:20:00.000+11:00

Well another year has passed, and capping off the old year I am pleased to present you with Say Something's 50th post! I suppose I would've passed this milestone at some point sooner or later but my laziness seems to have coincided with the conclusion of what has turned out to be a pretty decent year. And with that it's time to tell my last story for the year, so sit tight and enjoy the ride.

We had the pleasure of going to see the Aussies take on the Indians at the MCG for Boxing Day this year, and I managed to be there for the first two days which is a lot more than usual, given that I can only take so much spectating of this fine sport in one punch. Cricket is not for everyone, especially when you consider the fact that the game is only outdone by football/soccer for the proportion of time where nothing happens. Even for a more than casual supporter like myself there are times when all that blocking doesn't exactly stimulate the senses.

But not to worry, we were all promised that the Indians would have more than enough batting prowess to menace the Australian Test squad. After all names like Tendulkar, Dravid and Laxman are not to be taken so lightly. Surely they would do a better job than the Sri Lankans did when they came down here the month before. The huge gap in between innings for the locals had only made our thirst for the game even more umm... thirstier than before. It was time for a showdown.

For the first day it certainly seemed that way. The Australians won the toss and elected to bat, and the Indians did a fine job of it at first. It took Hayden and Jacques around three overs to get off the mark in a fine contest as the bowlers tried to tempt them into playing rash shots. It's always a good show when spectators sarcastically applaud the batsmen for making contact with the ball, even with a defensive shot.

At some point during the morning session a small party of Indian supporters came along and sat next to us. For some reason they were all wearing sailor hats and holding up nonsensical banners like "India makes cricket famous, and Indians make cricketers famous". Most of the other banners were in Indian, but if this was an example of things to come, perhaps it was better I didn't know. I'm not pretending to be all high and mighty about people's choice of slogans, but I'm sure there was an error in logic somewhere along the line. I hope that didn't come off as accidentally racist, but if you see this blog up on Today Tonight you'll know somethings gone slightly awry.

Taking pictures at the cricket seems to blur into one... all pictures seems to look the same after a while. But each year presents new opportunities to document and mock, so here we go...

Day One presented the MCG with an additional $12000 to the coffers of the mighty MCC as two streakers decided they had too much money and it was probably better off elsewhere. The guy grainily photographed here made it halfway to the pitch before being tackled by the police, while the second guy made it across the wicket before anyone could apprehend him. It really does highlight how unfit we as a nation are if our best streakers can't even make it across a field. They're not wearing anything that will slow them down aerodynamically which really does disappoint me.

Speaking of sources of unfit streakers, at some point during the day it was time to grab something to eat. On the way into the ground we saw a Nando's trailer operating near our gate which was very appealing, given that their food doesn't feel like it came out of a cesspool filled to the brim with enough grease to slicken John Travolta's hair in all those films he made back in the 70s. However it did come at a small additional price. How much more? If you couldn't be bothered squinting at the photo above, here it is in its full crapulence.

Holy Jeebus, what a bargain! Lining up at the end of the queue seven metres away didn't ring any bells, it was only when I was two customers away from the prize when I realised my eyesight was not deceiving me in some sort of cruel joke. At the outlet outside Telstra Dome they manage to sell combos for a decent price, but here it was clear that the definition of value has to be compared to each other overpriced store at the G'. It made little sense for me to pay full price for each item, especially when they didn't even give you a damn bag to carry all the crap you bought off them. It took me five minutes to find a spot to put everything down so I could reach for my reentry pass and even then it was hard not to feel hard done by.

Still I didn't let that minor piece of extortion get to me. We had the rest of the day to enjoy as the Australians batted on. The Indians had the best of the afternoon sessions as they took wickets at regular intervals and it really seemed like they'd be able to use that advantage during Day Two. How wrong was I.

Lousy Charades-Like Game

On Friday we all got together for a nice day of drafting at Darren's place. Nine of us turned up which was a pretty cool achievement considering the fact we are playing MtG after all. Describing details when it comes to card games makes for kind of dry reading so in summary I managed to come second playing a Giant deck that fell at the last hurdle to Xiao's Treefolk/Elf deck due to some unhelpful topdecking, some poor play on my behalf and the fact I passed on the Timber Protector which won him the third and deciding game. As the saying tattooed on Ben Cousins goes, Such is draft. Overall that wasn't that big a deal as we both got the cards we wanted.

Later on we played a game where we played idiots living in a small village accusing each other of murder Midsomer Murders style before lynch mobbing them in a game which required a lot of creative ways to die and a lot of sleeping. Random accusations and a lot of bluffing were required to be any good at this game in order to hunt down the werewolf mafia that were whacking people off at random. Fortunately we knew each other fairly well, as I reckon that a group with tensions running deep would manage to bring it all to the surface in a bout of wild allegations and the entire party would end up on the set of Springer in a show themed, 'When Good Games Go Bad'

My personal highlight of the night came when we started playing a game known as Taboo. The basic gist of it is to try and get your team mates to guess the word on the card without using any of the associated words listed alongside it. No gestures or funny sounds are allowed either so it's all in the phrasing. Answering the questions wasn't so bad for me for the most part, but trying to string clues together is slightly more challenging as you are racing against the clock. At one point I flipped over a card with the word 'benefit' written on it. I stumbled around with the neurons inside that thing I claim to be a brain before coming up with something that went a little like this.

"Umm, how about... 'Friends with _____?' You know, when friends become more than just good friends? Argh, (can't believe I was about to say this... especially in a friend's living room with his family several rooms away) you know what they call them... Fuck Buddies?"

Cries of "Come on! Someone has to know this!" were met with dumb silence (I mean that in the least insulting kind of way) while the opposing team sitting behind me cottoned on as to what the hell I was on about. In retrospect the reference was probably a little too obscure for everyone's purposes seeing as it wasn't exactly in common use. The most recent reference to that phrase came from Boston Legal... and only Xiao had followed that storyline. Maybe I should've gone with "the opposite of detriment" or something like that, I dunno. It was certainly worth a try though, and at least everyone left that night slightly the wiser.

And that brings us to the end of another journey for tonight. It looks like this will be the last post I'll be able to muster before the new year overwhelms us all, so I'd like to say thanks to everyone who bothers reading this whenever I get around to sitting down, typing and proofreading (kinda) for a couple of hours, the comments make it really worthwhile. It really started out as a way to chronicle all the crap I get up to during the year, and then I figured that if others could get a laugh or two from my bizzare and sometimes off putting outlook on life, well then all the better. I'll be off for a couple of days so in the meantime I hope you can keep yourselves busy. It's been a pretty good one, with all its ups and downs and upside downy parts and I'll be back to do it all again in the near future. Happy new year, y'all!

Testing Times

2007-12-30T20:58:00.001+11:00

Just sending a random pic to see if my phone will let me blog, such is my addiction to giving you guys something to read. I hope you realise I'm typing this out without the help of SMS shorthand...

People Want Ducks!

2007-12-26T22:43:00.000+11:00

Or conversely if you happen to be running the Australian national football (soccer for locals) team, "People want Dutch!" (Thanks to Get This for that gag). It's certainly an odd sight when a team/flush/raft of ducks (as opposed to a load or stumble of drunks) have a sit in not far off your front door. Maybe they were out looking for food on garbage day.

People Want Cricket!

On a completely non duck related topic, my Sunday was spent playing cricket with the guys from BH/Uni. The days leading up to Sunday were kind of worrying when buckets of water were being dumped on us from the skies for two days in a row, but when the day came everything seemed to be just fine. Sure it was a bit on the cooler side but there wasn't as much sun to burn us to crisps of our former selves.

Marcus and I rocked up fashionably late due to church commitments on his behalf, but that wasn't all too bad. Showing up slightly more refreshed than everyone else who had been there for about an hour before us, we took this chance to rip apart the tired and weakened opposition for about 40 minutes before we too began to realise that we needed more exercise more often. Oh well, it was good while it lasted.

Highlights for the show reel included several run outs due to the harsh uncompromising nature of Tippity rules cricket and the near regulation artificial pitch we managed to commandeer for the day's proceedings. The ground wasn't too damp save for the odd bog and quicksand death trap so play was fairly smooth. As per usual Ken and Darren got their eyes in after some uneasy moments and sent deliveries from us pie throwers all over the ground. On a personal note, I managed to snare four or five wickets bowling the usual medium paced pies which I was happy to celebrate Brett Lee Chainsaw Massacre style.

People Want Cards!

The road to Chadstone is long and pointless despite the fact it is the size of a small town with the capacity to frustrate thousands of shoppers in an endless maze of retail wench operated franchises. In picture: Darren tailgates us before we managed to lose him by driving off a ravine. True story!*

*This is a lie.

The day's play ended at about half past five once all of us had built up enough lactic acid to create the most disgusting and exhausting health drink ever made. It seemed a bit too early to call it quits for the day, the sun was still in full view and we were a truckin' convoy up to no good. For the next twenty minutes we sat in the back of our cars pondering our options while slamming down soft drink in some sort of dodgy looking Coke dealing operation. I'm not one for highlighting subtle gags or puns but I'm really hoping you at least pretended to get that one... it is the charitable season after all, why not spare a laugh for an earnest journeyman of a blogger this Christmas?

We finally decided on trying to hold a draft between the remaining six of us before anyone realised boosters are fairly difficult to acquire when it's six in the afternoon on a Sunday. Chadstone held very little joy for us as most places were out of stock or had the wrong product. We might try and hold something like that later on in the week providing people can be bothered showing up. It should be good fun though.

People Want Shane Watson! (Well, not everyone...)

In slightly tangential news, the week before I was running about the park in circles while trying to attain match fitness in my ongoing battle against childhood obesity which ended a long time ago, but my side obviously hasn't heard the news yet like that Japanese soldier hiding on a Pacific island not knowing the war had been over for 60 years. However I am doing my part for the youth of today in the hope of setting up some sort of carbon credit trading system but substituting simple carbon for more complex hydrocarbons so just remember you could be walking down the street with my arse.

Anywho, the run itself was all well and fine with little incident. It was only after I got home where I was lying on the couch several hours later stretching and relaxing when I went and pulled a hamstring. Imagine the supreme irony of it all, me writhing in pain while laughing in full acknowledgement of what the Ironator had done to me, in a case of what I like to call the Shane Watson Effect or Syndrome, whichever you find funnier.

For all of you who are not familiar with the man with the eponymous Effect in question, Shane Watson is a cricketer who plays for the state of Queensland and occasionally for our national team, providing he doesn't succumb to an injury or minor misfortune of which are many and well documented. When he's not playing, he attempts to get back into the team by casting curses on his fellow team mates so that they may know his pain. Don't believe me? Then how about the time Brad Hogg almost clipped himself out of contention when he got an infection from a rogue nail clipper gone totally mad? And how could Brad Hodge dislocate a disc in his back while putting his pants on? Stuart MacGill being an out of shape spinner with a wine dependency problem? Such weird misfortunes cannot happen to the entire team ala Mr Burns' Nuclear Plant Baseball team style without a catalyst, and I submit to the judge and jury that the man sitting in this court today with the voodoo doll is responsible.

On the other hand, the Shane Watson Effect sounds a lot like that recent annoying advert campaign for none other than the Lynx Effect. I think you all know where this is heading... imagine Watson passing people in the street spraying them with an aerosol can while exclaiming the catchphrase "Boom Chicka Wah-Wah" and dancing toolishly. He waltzes off into the distance, and you think nothing of it until you suddenly develop cramps out of nowhere or materialise on the top floor of the Eureka building only to fall down the numerous flights of stairs within.

So in conclusion - People Want Things! (Unless it's Shane Watson or a muscle cramp)

"Didn't you bring your umbrella along?"

2007-12-22T00:12:00.000+11:00

Said my sister as I walked through the door half drenched from the feet up. The only response I could muster behind my seemingly semi submerged smile was, "I did!"

When you start pulling your camera phone out in the middle of a freakstorm thinking it'll make a good blog picture, does that mean you officially have a problem?

Sitting there on the bus home it didn't look all that bad outside. Sure, the hatch in the roof was leaking but it does that all the time. Once I had realised the extent of my miscalculation, I figured that there was no real reason for me to test the walking versus running in the rain myth since I was walking into a wall of water anyway. The worst part about it all was that I had only walked 100 metres from the bus stop back to my place, which gives you a good idea of how the rain was really bucketing down in my part of the world this evening.

All that talk of storms brings me to what was a weird day for me on Thursday. Being the second last day of work naturally there are things we need to take care of before we all bugger off for two weeks. I had been working away for the past two and a bit days on little computer generated overshadowing diagrams required for town planning, and I had been doing this using a program to draw up simplified massing models like the one below. Apart from tracing shadows it also allows you to give the client an idea of what it might look like as they may not have the same visualisation skills us professionals are blessed with.

Anyhow, I had done five of these in fairly rapid succession churning out render after render when it turned out most of my work had been wiped out in an act of overzealous hard disk cleansing. How I held the anger within is beyond me, I assume I'll just reach some sort of critical mass some day and go postal Hollywood style. Just make sure you'll all take good care of me, okay?

Luckily there were some files I had printed or hidden elsewhere which meant I didn't have to do it all over from scratch, but for the next hour I was in a very foul mood. This called for one of my emergency mood lifting songs, and as I walked down the street for lunch, who did I call upon for stress relief? Why, no other than the Jackson 5 with "I Want You Back"... there's nothing as upbeat and uplifting than hearing a future freak and his siblings sing about love and loss like it's something they've been through on a regular basis, is there? I guess that's the real problem with pop artists singing about relationship breakdowns when you're 13 years old, no one really believes you. Unless you happen to be related to Britney Spears.

Lunch further made up for the shiteness of the previous hour when the guy working at the burger joint (I was eating at Grill'd, not some sort of generic fast food chain) made too many chips and offered me a free plate. I'm not one to scoff at the offer of free food so this was a no brainer. Sitting outside does help a lot, being a complete contrast to the indoors of the office where it sometimes seems that all that temporary annoyance can just get blown away into the aether.

And all this time I sat there watching that nice little storm approach over the horizon. A little rain never hurt anyone... right?

Well it became apparent that that was a complete fallacy as the storm came along later that afternoon, knocking out the entire train network running to the Mornington Peninsula. That's what you get for catching the train to Frankston. I found it odd that staff are always present at Malvern station but on that afternoon they were nowhere to be seen, presumably too preoccupied with trying to figure out what to do to bother checking the validity of people's tickets. I eventually jumped on a tram which took about half an hour to get back into the city which wasn't too bad I guess. I did pass the famed ANL House which was the target of Darren's camera a few days ago which made me think about how the people who work there tell others where they are.

Well I think it's time for me to bugger off now, seeing that I'm about to launch into yet another tirade on why our public transport system has the reliability of Microsoft Windows at any point in its history in whatever form it happens to manifest itself, as proven by this excellent Blue Screen of Death on an advertising display at Northland. Geeky fun for all... well just geeks.

Night Cricket, Night Cricket... We Know How To Do It!

2007-12-16T23:49:00.000+11:00

As I type this, I am listening to The Essential Michael Jackson CD I "won" at Marcus's 21st, and let me say this: Smooth Criminal never sounded better or an apt description of how I got this. More on that later.

We showed up at Marcus' place around 6, and it was nice of them to wait for my train to show up around six. It was even nicer when the guys at work let me bugger off early to be there. They don't read this blog (and hopefully they never will for all sorts of litigious reasons) but I just thought I should make that clear. We were among the first to show up, and therefore first to be able to explore Marcus's backyard, as this photo will surely attest.

X dragging his knees while attempting to swing across the old play equipment. They should really think about making stuff like this for grownups.

Just a quick mention about the food. They had some caterers around to serve all manner of food and drink which was quite nice, including three types of meat, which was extra nice. My only real question is this: why can these guys do such a decent job when the body corporate Christmas party for the place where I live can't even serve up a decent plate of rice? I don't count my self as being a fussy person but it's sure mighty swell to be able to eat rice that feels like it just got poured out of the bag. You wonder how much the body corp paid for food like that, I mean even a soup kitchen for the homeless could've done a better job. There were also way too many flies, but that was probably because we were sitting next to the garbage bin like the hobos we are. Constantly having to swat away at your meal doesn't exactly leave you with many hands left to eat with.

As per usual, whenever I attempt to take a drink of anything remotely alcoholic like a beer or a smooth tasting bottle of mouth rinse, I turn a bright shade of red and people start asking me if I've had a severe sunburn or if I have indeed soiled myself and feel really embarrassed about it. Now know this, people but like many Asians before me I have a lower tolerance for the drink than an eight year old white person. Sure I may look really pissed off after two drinks but rest assured that I am completely fine and am capable of making it across the room without your assistance. However, under said circumstances I do find things a lot funnier and will often tend to laugh a lot more audibly as my BAC reaches 0.002. Squared.

Evidence of the drink will often manifest itself in the form of photographs where the contrasting skin tones of those around me make appear to have emerged from a politically incorrect cartoon about native Americans. Or conversely it makes you take pictures where Emma is trying to bite your ear off. Whatever... it's all been done before.

If Cricket Australia can't make up it's mind about the concept of playing test cricket at night, perhaps they should have a look at these pictures here. Clearly proving that we will play anywhere anytime, after the party ended at around midnight we pulled out the metal stumps and the rubber ball to play in the backyard with the floodlights (or should that be floodlight) on. Unfortunately we didn't have the full compliment of the six light towers surrounding us but we soldiered on regardless. I don't wish to trivialise the roles of our national cricketers but those lights are damned hard to play under. It was a case of either absolute light or absolute darkness with either case resulting in blindness, and the ball would often run away into the bushes. But for that one hour under the stars, we wouldn't have it any other way.

We got Marcus a wide array of gifts to the value of $500+ which is enough to buy several thousand Chupa Chups or a cheap set of furniture from Sydney's. We got him neither of those extremely thoughtless ideas and one of those improved ideas was a bat signed by all us guys from uni, or the 21st XI which is kinda confusing when you say it out loud. Unfortunately we got trumped when his family presented him with a bat signed by the captain of some local team. Can't quite recall what his name was, Ricardo Pointy or something. Which one will be worth more? Only time will tell.

I'm only mentioning this simply because I showed up to sign the bat last and I was suddenly called upon to open the batting. If only people knew how bad my batting was. It makes Geraint Jones look like a decent keeper.

There was a 90s themed quiz later on in the night which I maintained had far too many questions about Beverley Hills 90210, Friends and Titanic and not enough questions about Captain Planet. The less said about our "efforts" in the quiz the better I suppose, but we did end up winning simply by virtue of waiting for the other teams to trip over themselves as they outraced each other to answer the questions. The way we were going I was surprised we were anywhere near the lead, what with a multi-syllabled team name like ROFLMAO, but we managed to win on the last question to claim prizes only I appeared to be interested in. Chairman Mao would be proud.

Apologies if this is somehow copyrighted... send all complaints in writing or talkback radio.

I guess it's always a good night when you can't remember what time you dosed off. Being awake 23 hours straight is not a good way to live while watching the original Transformers movie and playing the N64 and cards. Replenish is a fun way to win games, unless you're playing against it. Those who were left standing the next day went for pancakes and a long drive where Burke Road somehow managed to clog itself up on a Saturday afternoon. I should say that the Country Breakfast is good for anyone who hasn't really eaten much during the past few hours, as well as the stoners in those ads on the radio.

That's all from me for the time being. We here at Say Something are fast approaching 50 posts and hopefully we'll be doing something to celebrate, like throw a party for the 5 people who read this. But honestly, even if only one person read this, I'd still be penning away epic after epic post... all for you at home or wherever you're reading this. I'm going to close this little saga by presenting a little Jackson related video. Remember the classic video Thriller? If so, have you ever wondered what it'd be like if they were made of Lego? I'm sure you all have, as have the other 1.4 million people who have seen this on YouTube. Enjoy.

Oh, and extra points to you if you identified the stinky pun in the title... the answer comes from the chorus of Night Fever by the Bee Gees. Now that'll cringe the heck outta ya.

Say Something...

People Want Ducks Again

Bad Rhino!

Because Shock Value 2 Isn't on Vinyl

Your Friendly Myki Mob

Question TIme

Hibernation's End

With Love and Squalor

Lil' Bhaj

Engrish, Please

Oh, The Ironing.

The Two Faces of Matt Preston, And Other Stories!

The Vengabus

Lousy Avian Sense Of Entitlement

So It Goes

Real Life "Burgo's Catch Phrase"

Pants Related Emergencies

Sleep Log

Feels Like Fail

The Hate List

The Rapidly Deteriorating State of My Locker

Guided Strike, Or Bad Newspaper Caption Of The Day

Negative Pulse

Belation

Chicken Based Produce

Now We Are All Chlorophiles

Good Ol' News Feed...

Frakking Toasters

Partially Full Time Uni

Bluffin' With My Muffin

Slow N' Toast

Missing

Better Than Bradman

In The Midnight Hour

Slurping One's Soup

Tester

Wake Up, Jeff!!

Top 100 And A Bit

Awwww...

Ma fille veut party toute le jour.

100 n.o.

I Want It That Way (But Not In That Way)

For Those Who Can't Afford Real Games

27 Stolen Hotel Bathrobes Later...

Subholiday to Taiwan

Richard Marsland R.I.P.

It's Too Laaate!! *Arrgh*

Just Being Bhaji

Buy Now and Get Another 3000 CDs At No Extra Cost!

The Neverending Semester, Part II

The Neverending Semester

...Make it a Direct Hit

We Are NOT Too Old For This Shit...

My Current Favourite Prime Number

He Could've Won It, but...

In Brief

Placeholders: The Movie

Guess That Broken Card!

Before The Fall

Pancakes and Photographs

Mmmm, Got The Munchies...

Blog On The Run - Freeze To Meet You

The Spaces Between

The Foodening

Chompers

Gloating Time Is Over...

Canned Laughter

Amalgam

Architectural Flash Card Hell

Hibernation

Hardcore 19th Century Stuff

A Bridge To Nowhere

Yay, First Year!

Steal This Blog!

Yet Another Great Idea From The Justinian Moneymaking Institute

Melbourne Uni Bathroom Grafitti Tour - Part Deux

Temporary Glory For The Win!

Melbourne Uni Bathroom Grafitti Tour - Chapter One

The State Of Things To Come

From The Wayback When Machine

It's Too Laaate!! Arrgh